elizagirl

Ah, fuck.

I should never be left to my own devices, let alone be left to my own devices with scissors.

Remember those "good idea/bad idea" little blurbs that were on the Animaniacs back in the day? You know, one of them was:

Good idea: doing your own yard work
Bad idea: doing your own dental work.

And then there would be a little psychotic...
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Here's a story that made me laugh so hard I earned a disapproving frown from my supervisor.

My friend Mike was having sex with his girlfriend, and the sex was good. Becoming TOO good, and he realized he didn't want it to be over yet, so he performed what he has coined an EPM--Emergency Pullout Manoeuvre--in the hopes of salvaging the situation and halting in...
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How can it only be Wednesday?!? Already this week is sucking my will to live. It's sick how much I look forward to going to the same damned bar and drinking too much and dancing like an idiot to the few songs I actually like and eating a middle-of-the-night tubesteak and having inane conversations and stumbling home by foot or by taxi, by hook or...
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So, first journal entry here. Will I last? Will I persevere? Or will it become another well-intentioned project to be swiftly swept under the porch like a dead woodchuck? Only time will tell.

I figure today is as good a day as any to begin a journal here, as it feels slightly starchy fresh, like new paper or a raw potato.

You see, I have...
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