Here's a story that made me laugh so hard I earned a disapproving frown from my supervisor.
My friend Mike was having sex with his girlfriend, and the sex was good. Becoming TOO good, and he realized he didn't want it to be over yet, so he performed what he has coined an EPM--Emergency Pullout Manoeuvre--in the hopes of salvaging the situation and halting in time.
And then, looking down for some reason, perhaps along the same lines as looking down the barrel of a loaded shotgun to see if it's loaded or not.....
Mike came all over his own face. Corner of his mouth right up to his temple, and in his hair.
He said all he could do was laugh. I was laughing too hard to do anything else when I heard the story, and my face wasn't the drippy one. So yeah--laughing = good.
Went to see "After The Sunset" with a friend tonight. I think he liked it better than I did--I found it pretty cheesy and formulaic. Entertaining enough though--and Salma Hayek is hot enough to make up for any plot holes. If "THE GAY" is a disease, she's a carrier for me for sure. Yum.
(aside: why are things so much funnier when you add 'the' to them in a mock-disapproving way? observe: "Bill, Timmy's been smoking pot. We need to talk to him". Not so funny. But "Bill, Timmy's been smoking THE pot." FUNNY! Also funny: "I've been having the sex", "here comes the death" and especially "help I've got the gay!" which is good to taunt the homophobes with.)
Also funny: when someone is rude enough to ask what a rash or something is, smile real bright. "Scabies."
I have actually made myself lunch for tomorrow--I never do this. It is a giant step. I have spicy Thai chicken which I have chopped up and am going to add to a caesar salad I have. That and a cup of vanilla peach yogurt for lunch, and a bowl of Berry Burst Cheerios* for breakfast, and I am looking at a semi-balanced, inexpensive day. Hoorah! Round of applause for the usually inept one.
All the better to spend that extra money on getting off my face and spazzing about tomorrow night....LuluMae, I promise to try not to careen into you when you have your tray held aloft.
*Berry Burst Cheerios rule! They're yummy, and passably healthy, plus they turn the milk purple. Purple! Milk!
My friend Mike was having sex with his girlfriend, and the sex was good. Becoming TOO good, and he realized he didn't want it to be over yet, so he performed what he has coined an EPM--Emergency Pullout Manoeuvre--in the hopes of salvaging the situation and halting in time.
And then, looking down for some reason, perhaps along the same lines as looking down the barrel of a loaded shotgun to see if it's loaded or not.....
Mike came all over his own face. Corner of his mouth right up to his temple, and in his hair.
He said all he could do was laugh. I was laughing too hard to do anything else when I heard the story, and my face wasn't the drippy one. So yeah--laughing = good.
Went to see "After The Sunset" with a friend tonight. I think he liked it better than I did--I found it pretty cheesy and formulaic. Entertaining enough though--and Salma Hayek is hot enough to make up for any plot holes. If "THE GAY" is a disease, she's a carrier for me for sure. Yum.
(aside: why are things so much funnier when you add 'the' to them in a mock-disapproving way? observe: "Bill, Timmy's been smoking pot. We need to talk to him". Not so funny. But "Bill, Timmy's been smoking THE pot." FUNNY! Also funny: "I've been having the sex", "here comes the death" and especially "help I've got the gay!" which is good to taunt the homophobes with.)
Also funny: when someone is rude enough to ask what a rash or something is, smile real bright. "Scabies."
I have actually made myself lunch for tomorrow--I never do this. It is a giant step. I have spicy Thai chicken which I have chopped up and am going to add to a caesar salad I have. That and a cup of vanilla peach yogurt for lunch, and a bowl of Berry Burst Cheerios* for breakfast, and I am looking at a semi-balanced, inexpensive day. Hoorah! Round of applause for the usually inept one.
All the better to spend that extra money on getting off my face and spazzing about tomorrow night....LuluMae, I promise to try not to careen into you when you have your tray held aloft.
*Berry Burst Cheerios rule! They're yummy, and passably healthy, plus they turn the milk purple. Purple! Milk!