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elisabeth

Member Since 2002

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Thursday Oct 14, 2004

Oct 14, 2004
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Please say Happy Birthday to my friend, phear.

He's going to be spinning the tunes tonight with some other friends, and it will surely be a good time. I'm looking forward to a lovely evening with my favorite styles of jungle, rough and evil. biggrin

Seems I rarely go out anymore unless it's to hang out with friends. Maybe I've got social phobia again?

Let me tell you about the first time I had an "official episode". My ex and some friends had encouraged me to start DJing in public. The year was 1997. My experiences up until that point were limited to sneaking on my ex's decks in his living room when he was out. No one knew for at least a couple of months that I was trying to figure it all out. At that point, I should have called myself DJ Miss Tennis Shoes Clunking Around in a Dryer, but I don't think that it had the same ring as DJ Trixie. Haha.

Anyway, I was invited to spin at a house party, only this was no ordinary house party, unless you count a house as a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, complete with valet parking, gynormous property, and all sorts of pretentious and preposterous poseurs. Except for me and my friends, of course. wink

I was wearing my obscenely short white tennis dress and white go-go boots (hey, I'm a good tennis player!). Everything is normal until I get behind the wheels of steel. Not sure what happens, but I find myself having shortness of breath. The music is on, and yes, that is a crossfader screaming at me to JUST MOVE IT OVER and mix the record, damnit. But something stopped me, and I started getting dizzier and dizzier.

It got to a point where it was a near fade to black, and fortunately one of my friends saw me, stepped in, and helped me out. Weeeeeiird. Anxiety attack. I've had many since then, and not just limited to spinning. Mostly related to social gatherings. No one would ever guess that I'm actually shy in public, so that's why I haven't been going out very much lately. I took shitloads of acting classes when I was younger and gained some experience in front of the camera in order to combat my shyness, and it seemed to help some.

What can you tell me about anxiety-type attacks, when you've had them, what seems to be the common theme, etc? I used to think that my issues were stage fright related, but I'm not always so sure now if it's that, or the claustrophobia that is a by-product of living in LA.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kelland:
I have tones of social phobias. Sigh le sigh. I just don't like people. Maybe that's not a phobia. Maybe that's something else.
Oct 14, 2004
estrada:
I have anxiety and asthma. I get shortness of breath and my upper body tenses up.

It happens when I literally cannot stop thinking.

I'll type more later about it but I just wanted to say thanks for the belated b-day wishes.
Oct 14, 2004

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