We love and we lose. We care and we get discarded like a piece of trash. Yet we endure. Endure we must, though. It's funny what we remember when we pull our head out of our ass long enough. Ego is such a fucking problem, no?
It's like this: never mind that I feel shitty, but if you cause me grief to make me feel even shittier, damn YOU to all hell then? Not that the responsibility lies within ourselves one bit? Such a shame that we are so afraid of the unknown, we are afraid of looking bad, especially to those that we care about. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when we believe we aren't good enough for them. And we actually aren't, because we are not good enough to the person we should be the most kind to, ourselves. We don't measure up in our own eyes. And if that truly is the case, we are fucked.
How can we love another if we don't want to be honest and kind to ourselves? We can go through these inner dialogues that are full of self-loathing and pity, and no wonder why we hurt. No wonder why we cannot give others what they deserve- understanding, acceptance, and love. But we also draw people toward us who can teach us lessons. That one seems to be very evident time and time again. Some of those lessons are wrought with heartache, but some of them are gifts as well. I know that these are all gifts, especially what I am being given right now. Just a matter of doing the right thing, and keeping my head out of my ass. The bruised female ego can mimic a lot of things, especially things like delusion and the major buzzkill of depression. And I'm very aware now that it has been my stupid ego all along. And I feel sheepish. Damn you, psyche
Thank you to the cosmic forces. Thank you for the many lessons bestowed upon me. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have been supportive, in real life, online, in my dreams, everything
"That which doesn't kill us makes us stranger." Trevor Goodchild
It's like this: never mind that I feel shitty, but if you cause me grief to make me feel even shittier, damn YOU to all hell then? Not that the responsibility lies within ourselves one bit? Such a shame that we are so afraid of the unknown, we are afraid of looking bad, especially to those that we care about. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when we believe we aren't good enough for them. And we actually aren't, because we are not good enough to the person we should be the most kind to, ourselves. We don't measure up in our own eyes. And if that truly is the case, we are fucked.
How can we love another if we don't want to be honest and kind to ourselves? We can go through these inner dialogues that are full of self-loathing and pity, and no wonder why we hurt. No wonder why we cannot give others what they deserve- understanding, acceptance, and love. But we also draw people toward us who can teach us lessons. That one seems to be very evident time and time again. Some of those lessons are wrought with heartache, but some of them are gifts as well. I know that these are all gifts, especially what I am being given right now. Just a matter of doing the right thing, and keeping my head out of my ass. The bruised female ego can mimic a lot of things, especially things like delusion and the major buzzkill of depression. And I'm very aware now that it has been my stupid ego all along. And I feel sheepish. Damn you, psyche
Thank you to the cosmic forces. Thank you for the many lessons bestowed upon me. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have been supportive, in real life, online, in my dreams, everything
"That which doesn't kill us makes us stranger." Trevor Goodchild
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