Yesterday I ran around Faneuil Hall w/ a shark on my head, a red cape, & red booties.
I was "Captain Poseidon"
It was rad. I felt like a Suicide Girl.
I served my country. I apprehended the dreaded "Stick Man" for his insidious theft of a pretzel. Faneuil Hall Security thought him too HOT to take in, so I had an NSA agent do it. He was hard to hand cuff.
I saw Lobster Sign Man, Pidgeon Man, Pidgeon Man Woman, FlowerPot Man, & Pretzel Man.
They were all glad to see me.
I nobly escourted a gaggle of Japanese Catholic schoolgirls to the Ladies Room, & had my picture taken by them. (They'll be available on the internet for $9.99 soon. Watch for it!!)
& the competing Catholic School Boys, but they found the bathroom themselves.
& I FOUND A JELLY BEAN!!!!
I'd tell you more, but someone wants to use this compu....
errr... I've been called off on an urgent mission!!
Later. Much later, dude.
After getting a nap (on the parkbench.....) I discover Evil Plastic Man was up to no good. He had taken the guise of a HAT CART, and was about to perform his evil, evil deed, when I took off my protective (& way cool) pants,,,,um... GLASSES, & desalinated him. Foiled again, Evil Plastic Man!
Next, I warned Lamp Post Man that I was nearby, & had my eye on him. He'd better not power up, & EVILlight up ANYTHING!!!! Not on my watch!!
Then, once more, I VALIANTLY escorted an old lady to the restroom. We were in there a while, but nothing happened. (Just kidding)
I bravely maintained my PG rating when a lovely young woman said, "I like your hat".
Stoically, I was swift enough to cover my mouth as I replied, "I like your a....."
Having foiled another villianous plot, I commenced to check all the trash cans for weapons of ma.... errr.... toxic materials, warning the innocent passersby to STAY BACK!!! until I gave the all clear.
That leftover pizza crust was pretty damned good.
Whew. Busy day.
Conferencing w/ Plant Man, I then decided to schmooze.
Children now know to fight for:
Truth! Vengence! ...Oops... Justice! & Indian Pudding!!!, to brush their teeth every day, study hard & ...... something else.
They also now know the value of....kelp.
Due to my heroic act of imparting wisdom, they also know:
If whales get beached, the terrorists WIN!!!
If Models eat shrimp, the terrorists WIN!!! &...
perhaps most importantly,
If ...... um...... errrr......., the terrorists WIN!!!!
& I really didn't mean to make that tiny little child cry so hysterically. I swear !!
Sadly, however, no one wanted to buy a "Captain Poseidon" hat. No one, out of LOTS of people. It seems "Captain Poseidon" isn't remembered much these days. God, the public is fickle.... * sigh*...........
I'm cold. Does anyone have a blanket?
Hmmm.
Today's adventure.
Russian Bear Cub wrestling.
"Captain Poseidon" has been retired for a while.
I was "Captain Poseidon"
It was rad. I felt like a Suicide Girl.
I served my country. I apprehended the dreaded "Stick Man" for his insidious theft of a pretzel. Faneuil Hall Security thought him too HOT to take in, so I had an NSA agent do it. He was hard to hand cuff.
I saw Lobster Sign Man, Pidgeon Man, Pidgeon Man Woman, FlowerPot Man, & Pretzel Man.
They were all glad to see me.
I nobly escourted a gaggle of Japanese Catholic schoolgirls to the Ladies Room, & had my picture taken by them. (They'll be available on the internet for $9.99 soon. Watch for it!!)
& the competing Catholic School Boys, but they found the bathroom themselves.
& I FOUND A JELLY BEAN!!!!
I'd tell you more, but someone wants to use this compu....
errr... I've been called off on an urgent mission!!
Later. Much later, dude.
After getting a nap (on the parkbench.....) I discover Evil Plastic Man was up to no good. He had taken the guise of a HAT CART, and was about to perform his evil, evil deed, when I took off my protective (& way cool) pants,,,,um... GLASSES, & desalinated him. Foiled again, Evil Plastic Man!
Next, I warned Lamp Post Man that I was nearby, & had my eye on him. He'd better not power up, & EVILlight up ANYTHING!!!! Not on my watch!!
Then, once more, I VALIANTLY escorted an old lady to the restroom. We were in there a while, but nothing happened. (Just kidding)
I bravely maintained my PG rating when a lovely young woman said, "I like your hat".
Stoically, I was swift enough to cover my mouth as I replied, "I like your a....."
Having foiled another villianous plot, I commenced to check all the trash cans for weapons of ma.... errr.... toxic materials, warning the innocent passersby to STAY BACK!!! until I gave the all clear.
That leftover pizza crust was pretty damned good.
Whew. Busy day.
Conferencing w/ Plant Man, I then decided to schmooze.
Children now know to fight for:
Truth! Vengence! ...Oops... Justice! & Indian Pudding!!!, to brush their teeth every day, study hard & ...... something else.
They also now know the value of....kelp.
Due to my heroic act of imparting wisdom, they also know:
If whales get beached, the terrorists WIN!!!
If Models eat shrimp, the terrorists WIN!!! &...
perhaps most importantly,
If ...... um...... errrr......., the terrorists WIN!!!!
& I really didn't mean to make that tiny little child cry so hysterically. I swear !!
Sadly, however, no one wanted to buy a "Captain Poseidon" hat. No one, out of LOTS of people. It seems "Captain Poseidon" isn't remembered much these days. God, the public is fickle.... * sigh*...........
I'm cold. Does anyone have a blanket?
Hmmm.
Today's adventure.
Russian Bear Cub wrestling.
"Captain Poseidon" has been retired for a while.
paleenchantress:
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