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egosideroad

Montreal, PQ

Member Since 2008

Followers 185 Following 258

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Thursday Jan 07, 2010

Jan 7, 2010
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So some things are happening, and since no one really reads this, I feel like this is a good place to talk about them.

For the first time in a long time I am beginning to feel the creep of self-doubt working it's way into my brain. I don't know why, but I can imagine that my recent breakup, arguments with my business partner, conflict resolutions with my creative partner, and my general lack of sex are no coincidence with how I'm feeling.

But what's bugging me the most is my own inability to get over a little fear that's buried so deep inside me I can't even hear it, but I know it's there and is preventing me from doing things.

For example, I have a book on my desk right now. Its a novel, not terribly thick and looks really good. Have I started reading it? no. You know why? Because there is a chance that I will be hired to write an adaptation of said novel into a comic book. And if I start reading it, then I'm going to have to produce something. And if I produce something... what if it sucks?

So, the book sits and stares at me like a gargoyle. I've overcome a lot in my life, and it's a little disheartening to be held in check by a 300 page paperback.

I dunno, maybe I'm just being emo about everything, or letting myself get caught in the negative thought quicksand, but for no reason at all it all seems like it's a waste of time, and that's not me. I don't like thinking that way, and prefer to be a positive person. I like finding solutions, not wallowing in problems.

So, with that said, I think maybe I should take some of my own advice and go fight some Giants.

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