edenkitty

I am the worst blogger in the world and damn proud of it. I rarely have anything interesting to say. my life is small. I like it that way. I have been accomplishing a much this past week. I've had a great time, a tragic yet happy event, I've made things, I've cleaned things, I've organized, changed rooms, snuggled at every chance and cried at almost as many. I like my small little life...somedays.

Today does not happen to be one of them. I can look at my accomplishments and realize that I am on a great start to the week, and it's been a productive month. Still, I'm sad. It's confusing, the only thing I can really peg is being too poor to have a fun holiday season. It's really not that major, it just makes things a little more time intesive. Making all the gifts is a big task but I am up to it. the tree. that's what is making me want to pull out my hair. I want a tree. I always say I don't, but I do, I like them. They make me remember Christmas with my family, more importantly my grandfather. He's not here and I feel it is my duty to manage to get a tree to stand straight only by the grace of fishing line and precarious nails. Passing of the torch and all that nonesense. I miss him. I always do, it's just fall and winter I feel it more.

Regardless I am on the right path, Victor is getting there, and Josh is trying his hardest to find his own. My mom is even getting on the bandwagon of finding a way to stay here is the PacNW. Maybe next year it will be christmas at my house. A post-nuclear family, huddled in the rubble, as long as the rubble has central heat and is in a safe neighborhood.