echofonic

i've been trying to balance two words for too long. i didn't mean to hurt anyone by doing so - quite the opposite, really; i just wanted everyone to be happy - but it's become very appearant that that's not going to happen, and that everyone, including myself, is being hurt in the process.

the funny thing about all this (although funny's not really the right word) is that i didn't realize until last night how absolutely miserable all this has been making me. i didn't see how the only times i've been truly relaxed - truly happy - truly myself - have been when i've found a way to escape all of this drama and just be... well, with you.

(not that i need you to be physically near me all of the time - it's more of a sense that you're always with me.)

i didn't see how badly i've been treating myself, and in doing so, hurting everyone who really matters to me. no more.