dumbunny

Hey. Troll is the same, as all my peeps know...yes I'm to cracker to use the word peeps in public...prob online too...I'm going to spend today w/ him...that made him happy when I told him on the phone...he got to chat w/ the kiddie too...

Feel so bad...he wanted so horribly to be there for his only kid, his little boy, to start kindergarden. I'm going to document the day for him and put it on his iPod. God this sucks...

...trying to keep positive...I try and keep the blog updated...I can't lie, every second of the day I'm on the verge of tears...songs on the radio, thoughts, commercials, cartoons....when you're w/ someone every day for 12 years they become a part of you...I feel like half a person...even w/ Nico here...he's my little man...trying to stand in Daddy's place...it's not the same...I NEED JAMIN.

It's not, "Hey, wish he was here."..."Man, would be cool if Troll showed up.".......No. I NEED that obnoxious adorable asshole creature HERE. And by HERE I mean at work w/ me, at home w/ me, hanging out w/ friends w/ me......Do I Sound Needy, LOL. Smiles thru Tears.......

But.....everybody I love is keeping me going ...... Thanks *BIG HUGS*