dulcemara

I am an asshole. I lied to brandon so many times in our relationship and he continued to give me chance after chance. I deserve everything that i get out of this. I know that I deserve ten times the pain that I am feeling right now. I was hoping to at least be able to salvage our friendship out of this since he is the only real friend I have. But i am not even worthy enough of that. He is so much better off without me in his life. I know that he will end up with someone who will treat him the way he deserves to be treated. And hopefully he will be happy someday. I couldn't make him happy. Fuck I can't even make myself happy. He's not a bad guy. He's only doing what he needs to do. He's focusing on himself for once. And that is good for him. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I am not the victim here. He is. I fucked up his life and took away 3 years of what could have been great times for him. I wish I would have just left him alone years ago. I have done no good in his life. I can't even do good in mine.

Things aren't looking good for a place to live. I'm still almost 300 dollars short on being able to get into another place. But I needed to be out of here by the 5th so Brandon can get someone else in here so he doesn't lose his house too.

Just wanted to make sure that I got everything out in the open while I could. After I move out of the house I will no longer have access to the net. So bi bi to all of you and good luck in all you do

*kisses*