dulcemara

Well things are only getting worse. I found out that Brandon has been sleeping with this other chic and has feelngs for her and blah blah blah. He said he was gonna tell me and that he had my best interest at heart, which may be true. But he was wrong. So it seems that any hope that I had of us being together is...
Read More

I'm trying really hard to be strong. And supportive of what Brandon feels he needs to do. But the idea of him being with other people just makes my stomache turn. I really hope that this turns out to be for the better and doesn't end up destroying what we had/could have had. I just hope he finds what hes looking for and becomes happy...
Read More

Had a nervous breakdown today. That wasn't fun. Can't sleep, eyes are all puffy. Not doing so good. Will someone mail me some strength so I can buck up and get through this shit. LOL.

Reality sux. Especially when you realize that everything that is making you miserable is your own fault. Than you look in the mirror and realize that you dont like who you are. Or who you have become. Talk about a self esteem knock down.

Work sux ass. We can't keep anyone so I keep on losing days off. I'm tired, I hurt, and I'm extremely...
Read More

Well, Brandon went out and shot some pool with me last night. Which meant alot to me. We weren't drinking, but it was fun none the less. He still went and hung out at his sisters house afterwards but it meant alot that he took the time to spend with me also.

My night sucked ass. I only got like 3 hours of sleep.

My...
Read More

Well, to be completely honest life is sucking ass right now. All of the people that I thought were my friends really aren't. Reality sux. Anytime I call and need someone to talk to or some company or something they are all way too busy to bother. Brandon and I were gonna go out to a movie or shoot pool or something tonight. But now...
Read More

Sometimes poetry is the only thing that can make me feel a little better. Brandon gave me this book a while back as a gift. It is VERY old. 1926 to be exact. But some of the writing just makes so much sense and hits a nerve. So I am going to post some of the poetry that has gotten me through some extrememly difficult...
Read More

Well, the internet got disconnected for a couple days so i havent been on. i turned it back on today though. i dont know how long for, but its on for now.

Well things are only getting worse. I am not doing too well. I am way too stressed. I am trying to sort out where I am going to go. Brandon is going to sell the car so I have to find a new means of transportation along with a place. I don't want to move out of town to my sisters but unless I can...
Read More

Well Brandon and I split up last night. For good this time. I don't really have anywhere to go. My only options so far are to move over to Montana or Michigan with one of my sisters. I really don't want to but I just can't afford to get my own place right now. And I definately wont survive trying to stay here. So my...
Read More

*sigh* things are kinda sucking right now. In just about every area of life. And I don't know what to do to make it better. I feel like I'm in a big hole that just keeps getting deeper and I'm never going to get out.

I wish I could make Brandon happy. He's never happy. I just want to be what he needs and wants....
Read More