Been thinking thinking thinking. And all this thought is driving me nuts.
I've mostly been trying to figure out why I think I should be alive. Not really the whole "what's the purpose of life," "where do we come from" thing, but more like what is life to me.
It seems to me like everything has been done. Nothing is new or unique. Everything repeats itself and goes in circles. Which really bothers me. Coz if nothing new is really happening, why is anything happening at all?
Alright, I guess that kind of is a "what's the purpose of life?" thing.
What I mean is, history repeats itself, everything goes through ups and downs, even conversations are repeated in the same groups of people, and all over the world. Why?
So I guess I'm on a search for myself and also for something new. Something fresh ad unique, never done before. And if I'm really lucky, something that will never ever be repeated.
How I plan on doing this I'm not sure. I'm also debating which one I should try and figure out first. Maybe I should start out w/ a couple lists, one stating the person I believe I am, the other who I'd like to be.
Anybody else do something like this? I know anyone college age and up has gone through it, so fess up. How, if you have already, did you go about finding yourself? Although I'm not sure anyone no matter how old has done that. I'm just curious about people's opinions, ideas, journey's, and such.
Wanna help me out?
PS I think my next tattoo will be the cover of Invisible Monsters, the one of the optical illusion w/ pink blood splattered across the mouth. Just trying to decide where to stick her. I was thinking my hip, more on the belly side. And also a rose w/ a skull in the middle and banners on top and bottom reading "Live Forever", anyone have an opinion as to what color the rose should be? I can't choose between deep purple or red, or a vibrant orange. And you can thank tpiercingf for the new additions of ink in my flesh, because he put up the money to get me more art work. I can't thank you enough!!! So look out for new pictures hopefully coming soon.
I'm just dying for christ's birthday to come so I can get more camera fun stuff!! I need new filters coz the lens that the filters I have fitted, was stolen over the summer. So I need new sized ones for the better lens I got as a replacement. Perhaps I will add things to my amazon wish list so everyone can see? hehehe sorry I am a greedy grub, but you can't deny that getting gifts makes your heart flutter like mine.
I'm on a Job search, so I can get back to albq and my friends and school. I have yet to find a medication that works and actually stopped taking anything a few days ago, coz I didn't see a point. And I have to say, I feel a little better. My back is killing me and my sharp pinging headaches are back, but I'm not all suicidal feeling anymore. So who knows. I also started to surf the crimson wave w/ Aunt Flow today, so that could explain the pain I'm in. We'll have to see. I go back to the doc on tuesday, and we'll talk about new medication options, combinations etc.
This PS is long enough. Later
I've mostly been trying to figure out why I think I should be alive. Not really the whole "what's the purpose of life," "where do we come from" thing, but more like what is life to me.
It seems to me like everything has been done. Nothing is new or unique. Everything repeats itself and goes in circles. Which really bothers me. Coz if nothing new is really happening, why is anything happening at all?
Alright, I guess that kind of is a "what's the purpose of life?" thing.
What I mean is, history repeats itself, everything goes through ups and downs, even conversations are repeated in the same groups of people, and all over the world. Why?
So I guess I'm on a search for myself and also for something new. Something fresh ad unique, never done before. And if I'm really lucky, something that will never ever be repeated.
How I plan on doing this I'm not sure. I'm also debating which one I should try and figure out first. Maybe I should start out w/ a couple lists, one stating the person I believe I am, the other who I'd like to be.
Anybody else do something like this? I know anyone college age and up has gone through it, so fess up. How, if you have already, did you go about finding yourself? Although I'm not sure anyone no matter how old has done that. I'm just curious about people's opinions, ideas, journey's, and such.
Wanna help me out?
PS I think my next tattoo will be the cover of Invisible Monsters, the one of the optical illusion w/ pink blood splattered across the mouth. Just trying to decide where to stick her. I was thinking my hip, more on the belly side. And also a rose w/ a skull in the middle and banners on top and bottom reading "Live Forever", anyone have an opinion as to what color the rose should be? I can't choose between deep purple or red, or a vibrant orange. And you can thank tpiercingf for the new additions of ink in my flesh, because he put up the money to get me more art work. I can't thank you enough!!! So look out for new pictures hopefully coming soon.
I'm just dying for christ's birthday to come so I can get more camera fun stuff!! I need new filters coz the lens that the filters I have fitted, was stolen over the summer. So I need new sized ones for the better lens I got as a replacement. Perhaps I will add things to my amazon wish list so everyone can see? hehehe sorry I am a greedy grub, but you can't deny that getting gifts makes your heart flutter like mine.
I'm on a Job search, so I can get back to albq and my friends and school. I have yet to find a medication that works and actually stopped taking anything a few days ago, coz I didn't see a point. And I have to say, I feel a little better. My back is killing me and my sharp pinging headaches are back, but I'm not all suicidal feeling anymore. So who knows. I also started to surf the crimson wave w/ Aunt Flow today, so that could explain the pain I'm in. We'll have to see. I go back to the doc on tuesday, and we'll talk about new medication options, combinations etc.
This PS is long enough. Later