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Maybe I'm just a boring, fat, greasy internet troll draped over a mouldering office chair, my pale bloat illuminated by monitors and the microwave ticking away as it cooks a box of taquitos for me to slurp down, my trembling fingers moist and pressing the mouse button like uncooked sausages...

Or maybe.... https://fetlife.com/users/211090/pictures

I don't have tattoos.
I don't have piercings.
I hold down a...
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