I forget sometimes how crushing of a thing love can be. My brother reminds me in his choice of songs that be finds appropriate for me. I'm listening to Morphine's In Spite of Me, which he picked to play at my wedding reception that never happened. I understand why he picked it (or I think I do) even though I've not made it very far, at least not the way I intended to. I am very fortunate to be gifted with those who love me, to have parents (both by blood and by marriage) that tell me that we'd be friends regardless of our familial ties, to friends to share my soul with. I know in my heart that I myself am crushing and often damaging to my loved ones. Life seems so full of catch 22s and trade offs that I often find it hard to find my pace amongst it all. I know I can't be everything they or I wish or need me to be, but I can whisper my prayer that I be enough things to them to make a difference to matter to honor what they have been have done for me.

dK