downward_despict

An ongoing attempt...and a bet to win.

I don't belong here. This isn't me, I don't think that I want the story of my life to be tainted with the hypocrisy of spending so much time in support of something I don't believe in. I am made uneasy and undone by this, and I think I could consider my mission to scout the cultural value of the phenomenon completed. Messageboard scene culture,...
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I'd tell you I'll update more often. But I'd be lying.

Secrets....have any? Want one? I probably don't care much for the trendwhoring, facepainting, immersively underhumanized (through over-representation of value intrsinsic to people as 'quantity'), fiercely unable to generate anything new, institutionalized, aesethetically-obsessed, narcissistic thing you boldy mislabel as 'culture'. That was a rant, and it goes out to Frankie. Another secret? I don't really...
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Er... Oh yeah, I have a journal.

Merry Xmas, wankers and hoodrats! Frankie's and stiffs, cats and hats, sex bots and last shots... Only one short week til we can bury all we that we thought we knew about this year, and stubbornly trudge on to new horizons and unchartered waters, walking snowblind into 2006 armed with a hangover and a lingering holiday bitterness.

I've...
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Ugh... 2 caffeine pills, 1 energy drink, 1 full pot of coffee, 10 hours, an all-nighter, 2 calls from the ex, and 11 pages of essay on 18th century lit later... I think my stomache is going to fall out. If you could please help me catch it and place it back where it belongs, that would be appreciated.
I despise this week. And everything...
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I wonder...
...what the average would stand at, of lives people live versus years they've been alive. Clear chapters and books as they have opened and closed in people we were and are, stories that go from being lived to told.
Versus.
Such a simple, ultimately ineffectual way of gauging progress through life as the amount of raw minutes that have passed since we emerged...
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Dear you...
What do single people even do? I mean...I've got the drinking, and going out with friends part down...Excessively, even. Got the (socially inept) attempts at meeting new girls... But what about everything in between?
Where do you go, from not having to look for someone to rent a movie with, from having someone to talk to each night about the trivial things you...
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All I want to do is make music like Bear Vs. Shark. Really, just be a basement cover-band of the sheer musical brilliance they exude. Fuck, this band is amazing.
There's a certain tired monotony to meeting new girls, post-long-term-relationship-endings. It's like you're expecting to feel something that you don't even give a chance to be there. Funny the way we work sometimes, eh?
Here's...
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So... This is how it goes down. Upon my much celebrated return from Idaho, the greeting I came home to was a separation, once again, from my sometime-girlfriend. What's she leaving me for this time? Acting. Turns out, you can't pursue your dreams while tied down to someone else, even if you're pursuing those dreams at the same school, in the same city.
Idaho is...
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Back onto WoW... Head hung in defeat and shame for renewing the old account. EQ2 is just too hardcore, FFXI I can't bring myself to redo all the early grinding, DAOC and AC are too past-tense, GW was lame and generic, which I imagine CoH and CoV to be as well... *sigh* Acronyms are for suckers.
Tomorrow is Bad Religion in Calgary. Then the weekend...
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We are nothing and nowhere but the faces and places we pretend to be.
Yes, this does imply honesty is subjective to the same treatment we rigorously apply to ethics and general morality. Killing a person is wrong. Firing a .45 into the chest cavity of a zealous would-be murderer with a bowie knife raking the soft flesh protecting the throat of a loved one,...
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