dorkface

my account will expire sometime this month, and i'm fairly sure i'm not renewing. i pretty much suck at the internet, especially community sites like suicide girls. i would have a good reason to renew if i were more active in the forums and knew more people on the site, but naked pictures alone are not worth the cost, regardless of just how fantastic they may be.

besides, being aware of the existence of so many intelligent, artistic, and gorgeous women is beginning to take a toll on my psyche. my standards are already high enough without the meddling of this website, and my real chances of wooing or even merely befriending any such women are conversely low. where are all of these people hiding, really?

i never hate myself more than when i go out of my way to flirt with girls that i have no intellectual interest in. it took a long time for me to realize the hypocrisy of this behavior.

i have a lot of ridiculous shit to say but none of it feels relevant or worthwhile to anyone, so whatever.

by the way, i don't understand the appeal of cocaine and choose not to waste money on it again. it offered an interesting buzz, but was a completely unproductive high and always ends with a subdued sense of unfulfillment. i much prefer mushrooms and pot, though mushrooms must be limited to infrequent use. they're never around long enough to exercise the option of frequent use anyway.
next on the list - acid. i'd like to experience a more visually hallucinatory drug.