This week, @Missy and @Rambo's blog topic is "What inspired you to be a SuicideGirl?". I think it's a really interesting idea, so here I come:
I didn't know anything about SG a month ago, so all this is completely new for me. My best friend is a super fan of @Lass and he show me her gallery in Deviantart.com because I'm always in there.
I almost fell in love in that moment, ginger people always was my higher ideal of beauty and she was so sweet, so innocent, so cute!! She was very different of all the models I saw before: always agressive, always big lips, big boobs, always being like "I'm a tigress, I need sex NOW!!" bleh T_T
She was sexy in a natural and sweet way, she was perfect!
I always had a cute little girl face and tiny breasts, and that gave me a lot of complex because everybody always think I'm underaged, for example when I go to pick up packages I'm waiting, when I go dance to the clubs, when I simply go buy anything to a store... even one time when I tried to join a dating site, they kicked me out because "I needed to be 18 or older" and I was fucking 20 years old!!! it was frustrating all the time, not only because of my face but when I wanted to dress sexy stuff, I felt like I didn't have enough boobs to fit my outfit. But again, I saw Lass and I was like "it's amazing how sexy and confident she looks, it looks like she simply loves her body as it is without trying to change it". She become a truly inspiration for me, to remember I didn't need to change myself to be sexy, I just had to accept myself and transform my photography style.
I stopped thinking "I'm not hot enough" and I started thinking "hey girl, use what you have! try a more gentle posing style, more like a teen, more sweet!"
I'm usually very shy and too much innocent sometimes, so it helps getting the look I want in the photosets.
So when I accepted myself, my friend show me this site and I was amazed. I saw some photos and all of them were something I've never seen before! high quality, beautiful backgrounds, dyed hair, tattoos everythere, sexy and classy poses... nothing vulgar and crappy as I was used to see in facebook and sometimes in DeviantArt too, not as much photoshop as you almost have to scratch the screen to see the girl who hides under it. This was something good, this was something serious.
The girls I saw were putting a lot of effort on their sets, but at the same time they looked so comfortable and happy!
When I do lingerie photos I feel free, strong and sexy, in a few words, I feel like a woman; and I wanted to do nudes too since some years ago, but I never dared until I joined SG because every single suicide or hopeful do them and they enjoy doing it.
But doing nudes wasn't the only change, since I joined I feel much more brave and well, do you remember I said ginger people always was my higher ideal of beauty?
I always wanted to be natural ginger, but as I'm not, at least I wanted to dye my hair and eyebrows to look like one, but I was too scared of the cost, the process, the maintenance, the people's reaction... now I'm in process to be a dyed ginger girl, and I don't give a shit about the costs, I feel so damn proud of how I look now!!
This is how I always wanted to look, and now I'm getting it!!
And of course I want to be a Suicide someday (soon xD), not only because of the popularity and the fun, but also because I REALLY want to be able to do a set with the beautiful @quince and some other Spanish Suicides, but specially with her <3 don't you think the result would be so damn perfect? because I do, and I won't stop until I get it!! it will be my year's goal :D