akro:
Nice beard. Bad link.
neverforever:
http:// matters when making with the linkitude, oh my brother.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
chrisalis:
wish i could have gone 
alkaholic23:
i think that you were being generous when you said that you can only fit 3 human bodies into that bathroom, i was thinking 2 max. it was a bit over priced for the space, i would have asked the manager if the room came with a blowjob. funneh stuff though.
"I wouldn't call it so much 'feeling no pain' as I would call it 'having a vauge idea of pain'."
"Well, whether you feel it or not, it still didn't come off the dessert shelf!"
"Look, just cause someone lit fire to your asshole doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. It was an honest mistake."
"Ok, but like...
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"Well, whether you feel it or not, it still didn't come off the dessert shelf!"
"Look, just cause someone lit fire to your asshole doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. It was an honest mistake."
"Ok, but like...
Read More
neverforever:
A one two and you don't stop.
I wish I had a picture of Scot. Scot is a zombie. And he worships Satan. And he works at the Park Inn, where he rents people rooms that are not locked. So not locked are these rooms, that the doors are not even fucking closed. That means that there's absolutely a dead hooker lurking in the mattress and a living fetus lurking in the...
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Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
mle:
hellen keller
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The quick version: Hell fuck yeah.
The long version: HHHeeelll fffuuuccckkk yyyeeeaaahhh.
More later, when my body has forgiven me.
The long version: HHHeeelll fffuuuccckkk yyyeeeaaahhh.
More later, when my body has forgiven me.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
godsmoker:
Sounds familair... 
So I'm going to work in a few minutes.
Then I'm going to Boston. Shortly after I get in the car, It will be Sunday. I will be a lot of money lighter, and several pictures and a horrific hangover heavier.
Word to your mother.
Then I'm going to Boston. Shortly after I get in the car, It will be Sunday. I will be a lot of money lighter, and several pictures and a horrific hangover heavier.
Word to your mother.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
quietlythere:
word!!! 
alkaholic23:
hey man, it was great meeting you guys. that is some dedication driving up from delaware then back after cabaret. hope that a good time was had by all.
There's a radio show going on... I'm on it. You should listen to it.
91.3 FM in DE, PA and MD, or here everywhere else.
In a few seconds, I'll be reading this. I'm afraid.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a sad day for us here at the Malkuth Madness Network. It is today that we have to announce that, sadly, Attorney General John Ashcroft...
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91.3 FM in DE, PA and MD, or here everywhere else.
In a few seconds, I'll be reading this. I'm afraid.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a sad day for us here at the Malkuth Madness Network. It is today that we have to announce that, sadly, Attorney General John Ashcroft...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
abgitatz:
Nuf said
hrlyquinn:
Hey, can you send me my pictures before you leave?
Have fun!
Take lots of pictures!
I LOVE YOU!!!!
Have fun!
Take lots of pictures!
I LOVE YOU!!!!
How to make pizza:
1) Get hungry.
2) Decide to cook dinner.
3) Agonize over what to make
4) Finally settle on making pizza
5) Get ingredients:
3 cups of flour
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp extra extra extra extra virgin olive oil (If you wish, you may substitute 1 tbps of raging slut olive oil.)
1 tbsp Italian seasoning
1 tbsp pot (Tell people...
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1) Get hungry.
2) Decide to cook dinner.
3) Agonize over what to make
4) Finally settle on making pizza
5) Get ingredients:
3 cups of flour
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp extra extra extra extra virgin olive oil (If you wish, you may substitute 1 tbps of raging slut olive oil.)
1 tbsp Italian seasoning
1 tbsp pot (Tell people...
Read More
goob:
I used to be a Domino's Pizza Delivery Guy. I tried tossing / stretching the dough before... I suck at it. That shit requires practice.
I am gonna save your lil' recipe there. Maybe someday I will get adventurous and try it out.
I am gonna save your lil' recipe there. Maybe someday I will get adventurous and try it out.
hrlyquinn:
Dinner was soooooooooo good last night! You are amazing!
I can't get the radio thing to work. I want to hear you. Poo!
I can't get the radio thing to work. I want to hear you. Poo!
I am John Nash.
At least, I will FUCK UP the Cryptic Byword.
Three minutes, baby! NEW RECORD!
At least, I will FUCK UP the Cryptic Byword.
Three minutes, baby! NEW RECORD!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
neverforever:
I booked us a room for the first night. We'll play it by ear from there.
So I went through all of today without hearing a single human voice.
Until about ten minutes ago. Jeffrey burst in the door, stomped in the room and said, "If only dicks secreted nicotine, I'd suck on them all day. Not that I need an incentive or anything, but, you know."
I said "... ... ..."
To which Jeff replied, "Todays mindfuck brought to you...
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Until about ten minutes ago. Jeffrey burst in the door, stomped in the room and said, "If only dicks secreted nicotine, I'd suck on them all day. Not that I need an incentive or anything, but, you know."
I said "... ... ..."
To which Jeff replied, "Todays mindfuck brought to you...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
neverforever:
Well, I neither popped in a second nor cried. Condoms fucking suck though. I'm feeling a little weird about it now, but all in all worth doing.
abgitatz:
I am twitching...
And now... Fucking writer's block.
Radio show tonight! And guess what? We're live and EARLY!
If ya wanna hear some badass storytelling (please read: me reading at least one of the stories from my journal and probably making up a bunch of shit) and funnyass news, and punkass music.
At 11:00 EST turn on 91.3 FM (Philly to DC) or listen to Stream 1 at...
Read More
Radio show tonight! And guess what? We're live and EARLY!
If ya wanna hear some badass storytelling (please read: me reading at least one of the stories from my journal and probably making up a bunch of shit) and funnyass news, and punkass music.
At 11:00 EST turn on 91.3 FM (Philly to DC) or listen to Stream 1 at...
Read More
godsmoker:
HA! Great profile pic! I'll see you Teusday at work.
hrlyquinn:
Your new profile pic is adorable.
Writer's block sucks. I've had it since 11th grade...I think they stop calling it writer's block somewhere in the third year or so though....
Writer's block sucks. I've had it since 11th grade...I think they stop calling it writer's block somewhere in the third year or so though....
Storytime! Yay!
Im having a problem with my blender. It all started when I was watching Goonies one night very drunk. Now, those of you that know me know that while Im drinking, Im prone to what could politely be called lapses in judgment. It could impolitely be called being a total fucking retard, but thats not the point. The point is that I made...
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Im having a problem with my blender. It all started when I was watching Goonies one night very drunk. Now, those of you that know me know that while Im drinking, Im prone to what could politely be called lapses in judgment. It could impolitely be called being a total fucking retard, but thats not the point. The point is that I made...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
quietlythere:
too funny
hotpockets:
So, I just read that story.
At least, that's what I should have done...
What I actually did was...try to contain my laughter enough so that it wouldn't wake my roommate who is trying to sleep before his midterm tomorrow. Nice.
At least, that's what I should have done...
What I actually did was...try to contain my laughter enough so that it wouldn't wake my roommate who is trying to sleep before his midterm tomorrow. Nice.