So I got stood up twice this weekend. (Don't worry it wasn't by Sarah of my last two updates. That's just something I'm playing by ear and we're friends for now, though she wants to hang out this week.)

Anyway, on my last gig I met this reallycute girl who actually asked ME for my number. (which is practically what you have to do in order for me to realize that you're really interested.) So she called me on two seperate occasions only to stand me up both times. WTF!!! i mean I guess shit happens, but she didn't even give me an excuse.

It's all for the better though I guess. It only delays the inevitable. She's already asking all those sensitive questions and it's only a short matter of time before she realizes what a loser I am.

Now before you all start with the bullshit sympathy responses, it's not about me as a person. I like to think that I really am a decent guy, but the truth of the matter is I honestly have nothing to offer a relationship right now. Shit I'm barely taking care of myself right now. Some weeks I'm not sure where my next meal is gonna come from, and I'm not even good for casual companionship because as it stands it's not like I can't just come over anytime to hang out. Lord knows nobody wants to spend more than 5 minutes in the entertainment vacuum and virtual landfill that my roomate and I call an abode. (This includes me btw. I'm hardly ever here if I can avoid it.)

It's not that I wouldn't welcome female intimacy, but right now I think it'd be a little selfish of me... and once again I've held out this long so why should I start to give in to the solitude.

Alright... enough emo bullshit outta me for today. Tommorow I'll see a bunch of kids I went to school with. That should be interesting. I'mconsidering giving in and settling in to a traditional job for a while... only problem with that is I have to find one. If you know of anything let me know.