ditamoon

Loss and Life

All is fleeting
and yet looms large in the headlights
of what seems like too long
captured for unending moments
whichever we choose to replay the most.
Whichever seem to serve
what we want to hang on to.

My sisters boyfriend left this planet
of his own accord last week.
He leaves her confused
sad and lonely.
He leaves me knowing even more
that all is not meant to be grasped.
All is not meant to be held
or touched
of tasted
or taken
and that even when we think we have moments of belonging
Moments of being close and possibly even merging
that this is all just a ruse.
A tiny glimpse of the untiy that we supposeldly aim for
A tiny glimpse of softness
feeling that we can be so dear to another
that we could matter so much
that we could treasure so completely the adoring gaze of the beloved in each other
yet all this
and even the suffering
apparently
is impermanent
Even the empty space that we know no one can fill
even the empty space that sits and waits for ourselves alone
even that space
and that emptiness
is all just a flash in the pan
of that which we will never understand
and never grasp in any hand
never taste on any lip
never pulse through any vein

And even though it is all fleeting
and all can seem to be lost
it is so precious
and so particular
because it will never be quite the same
it will never be quite like this again
each moment
dying to itself
being born in another
each minute
each breath
each sigh
from this chest
from these lungs
From this heart
from these lips
Never like this again