disynthetic

Bring Me the Disco King! That song follows me everywhere.

Goodness, now it won't be out of my head for at least two weeks.

I don't know -- it really seems like the only version I've ever heard? Hmm. Makes me wonder if I've ever heard the "original."

Trying to think of an original thought is hard. Did you ever used to do that when you were little? Like, think of the most random, complicated string of things and be like "THERE. No one has ever come up with that. .. >>; no. Someone probably has. -Resigned sigh.-"

Kind of the same, kind of not. I hear of things all the time that I thought were my own concept when I was little -- I mean, they were my own concept. But they apparently always existed, or are now being marketed or something. And it's kind of weird. My biggie-invention? Reincarnation. Yep. I penned that one myself when I was five or six. At church camp, no less. No one was super thrilled.

..

I just walked away for ten minutes and almost navigated away from this page without sending.

Anyway, nice picture change -- but I can't tell your eye color. ;]

Very curious about this cooking skill. May be jealousy. Or maybe you can toss me an easy beginners recipe .. as, at the moment, I'm eating melted cheese and black olives .. and sliced ham. All mashed together with no reason. :/

Jeez. You put so much information in this. It's tempting me to go alphabet-format and respond to everything, but I'm resisting. Resisting. Resisting.

I once [and never again] went ten times in one twenty-four hour period, sex-wise. I am pretty sure after number five or six, we were both at least mildly disinterested, if not annoyed by nine and ten. Haha. Ugh.

Well Caledonia, I have two candidates. The kind I was really too young for sharp details on, and the kind that was recent enough it feels weird to put it in those kind of terms. But I'll chew on them a little tomorrow during work tomorrow and see.

Arrgh, and I want to go to sleep now, but I want to ask about the facepalm-status. Hmph. Curiosity. ;/

..

Okaysleepwinsbye.

Sounds brilliant.

I only vaguely remember even hearing of Ninja Assassin [and getting about three friends who were OMGSOOOOPUMPED, all of the dude-variety, and so being a self-respecting female .. I had to scoff each time, and scoff hard]. I mean.. Just the name. It sounds like a parody. Actually, as I typed that, I paused for longer than I should have .. because I'm not entirely sure it's not. Which would make me sound really stupid. I'll risk it.

Now, when you mention holding your eyes to a glowing red stove top burner. Have you ever watched Happy Tree Friends?

Moving on.

My eyes are actually mostly dark green I'm pretty sure, but lighting will hit occasionally and make them yellowish or creepy or glow-y, as with any. Regardless, hell, I'm just glad you said green. Part of my reason for asking is that someone on here was once like "Dude, I didn't know you had purple eyes." And. I really have nothing else to say on that one, as I didn't then. Worse was the time my then-boyfriend who I'd been dating for maybe a year, maybe two, and either way beyond -this- error .. said something about me having beautiful brown eyes. And my rule is, if you don't know .. why make it detailed. I meeeannnn, really.

I obviously wasn't putting you to the test on that one like "OH YEAH WELL THEN WHAT ARE THEY" because you have photo-references, but also people tell me sometimes they're brown or whatever. ANYWAY, I like having green eyes. I think they're green. I was starting to think I was the only one who thought so.

I am Irish and English. I just found out the English part from a complete stranger about two years ago.

I grew up checking "Pacific Islander" on proficiency testing at school, every year, because I lived briefly in the Philippines. I also thought I was Italian because my family lived in Italy before me, and spoke Italian and made lots of Italian food at get-togethers and holidays.

But, nope.

Alcohol and salt water. It's like the ultimate healing concoction.. megastrength. Did you puke? ;] The other day I accidentally put sugar-free maple syrup into my coffee because I thought it was caramel, and sucked it down hard. And I managed to not throw up JUST .. I mean, like narrowly escaped it for the next hour. But I was walking carefully for a while. I think mostly it was the "wtf" factor. Instant rejection.

I didn't intend to reply to everything, as I'm leaving for work in a second. But .. look'it that. Speed racer.

Oh. I actually missed Dexter. So I just shifted my anxieties. You are off the hook.

Eeek, no. Jeez. Season five has to be -the- worst place to pick up.. So much behind it. I mean, but I think it will come through for you -- and if you do watch it, I want full feedback.

This is pretty much giving me anxiety just thinking about it. If you're going to lose your Dex-cherry, you have to start at the beginning [read: if I had it on DVD I would even send it to you to watch -- it's that critical]. ;/



But I suppose maybe it's too late. Apparently you watched the spoiler. It's all ruined now. Pfft.

And PS.

a.] My dino-skinned tummy is just a healing tattoo. Scabby area, etc. It actually all washed off after soaking in the bath later .. so, no more. Until next Saturday when I go back to add some color. Which I don't really want to think about yet. Sigh. But anyway, nothing -actually- substantially weird going on there. Just looked sick for a bit.

So obviously -- photo op.

b.] Same color eyes. So what's your nationality? And what color eyes are you saying I have? I have a reason for asking. I'm also not sure where you looked to see this. Different pictures could look different, I suppose.

c.] Salty mojitos. I have actually never made one, though I was asked two nights ago for the first time [no mint -- typical].

I had something else to say.

Oh, absolutely.

In fact. Funny that you mention [both sides of] that argument; the point where you decide that you are going to let yourself quit [and you have the right, and screw everyone, and so forth] and then two steps beyond that, if you make it those two steps .. where the tables turn and you're there on your own accord. You were at the quitting point, and you didn't, so now it's your terms and you're officially there because you want to -- whereas before it was because ________ had placed you there.

This is generally my issue, and it's a weakness. If someone else puts me somewhere and I'm in distress, I'll rebel. If I choose to be somewhere and I'm in distress, I excel. So you're 100% right that it's a game -- and it's just a matter of turning that corner and your perspective .. allowing yourself to change who's keeping you there .. I guess without it bugging you that that's all it is [manipulation].

The only way it really works is if there's truth to it, so I have to believe that I could leave if I wanted, and I'm choosing to stay, so I pretty much decide to quit every day. I imagine myself doing some tension-filled balance beam walk the whole time. Anything could push me. In reality? I probably won't.. but a younger me has walked had panic attacks under lesser conditions, or punched out various dispensers in bathrooms and stormed out in a fury, and been done with it. Never come back. Being aware of my potential is enough. I'm choosing to stay every minute.

I mean, sometimes I like to look at it kind of like the way I actively choose not to smash the flat end of a pint glass into a guy's eye socket every minute. Conscious decisions, you know? :]

Okay. That was actually me being positive, but I think it read as rather brimstoney. Meh, .. forgive. How'd the breezey day go?

I do get kind of glazed over when I read over most blogs .. which is why I don't browse random ones anymore. Ever, never. I know the "voices" of my friends by now, so I can read them for what they are --

But there are a few beautiful speakers out there.

Floodgates? Sweet. Pour away. Give me something to chew on [ZOMG WHO DOESN'T LUV MIXED META4Z].

Oh, and don't you worry. I don't take you for a gusher. ;] Not after that picture. Baha.

I can't know entirely, as I haven't read it .. but I think you describe that connection very well. Have to say so, because you made me envious when I read it. I love-hate when books are able to stir that up in me. Good that it's there and ready, but y'know. It's a book when it comes down to it. And I struggle with whether or not to keep that envy alive, waiting for some ultimate connection blahblah or whatever it was that jarred me in the first place. After all, an author is possibly just writing from their own fantasy or void .. not the other side, describing reality and what is possible. So I teeter and allow a small level of manipulation, I think .. because the bitter-sweet has a nice bite to it.

But yeah. What you described gave me that. It sucked in that way. Makes me want to read and not read whatever book it was, because those things always make me realign my perspective on my actual relationships and .. they never stand up.

Gotta love those dreams, though. The tingle.

Pushing off past entries? Pfft! What happened to last night's attitude?

Anyway. Partially, I blame this need to each new entry to the light on SG's blogging format, and for it not being more like Livejournal [or Deadjournal, or Blurty, which all = same], lending itself much more easily to the occasional rant or impulse-blog or "DEAR FUCKING JOURNAL WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF OKAY BYE" without that being the one single representation of you in that moment. Until you shove it down and come up with something new [but what if it still applies? What if you want two things up at once, which are separate ideas entirely or written on separate days?].

I hate this format. System. Whatever. It means I bottle my thoughts for several days so that I don't tear my hair out an hour later when my mood shifts ten degrees and the page no longer reflects me in the least. I do what I can to cover my general trend.

But anyway. What I'm saying is .. don't worry too much about polish. Type things. I was kidding before. ;] But if you must .. then. As long as you don't restrict too tightly.

Or I will hold it against you.