distant

what ifs:

if i hadn't tried this
it would've lingered round
if i hadn't sought this life
no other one'd been found

if i would've died back
when i felt there was no more
if i would've crawled back
to the whore of a life you left me for

i'd never had known
just how thick my blood does run
i would have never sacrificed
my sight to see there was so much more

if i hadn't stripped down
to show off my every flaw
if i hadn't been bathed in light
so unappealing to those that saw

i'd never had known
just how disgusting i'd become
i would have never sacrificed
my life to live for something more

prefabricated and sedated surreptitious lies
strangle for silence you can't buy it
a million tone def cries

if i hadn't found this
it would've passed me by
if i hadn't found this child
no other would heed his cry

if i would've died back
when i felt like giving up
if i would've gone along
with everything i'd already fucked up

i'd never had known
just how thick my blood does run
i would have never sacrificed
my sight my life my destructive pride