dirtyprettything

I just realized that my life hasn't really slowed down at all - but that's totally because I choose not to. Having a sense of control over things is very comforting, especially with my life hopping about as it is - at the end of the day, it's all of my own choosing, and yes everyone ideally has control over themselves, but to be conscious of it and to own it is something entirely different.

I have calmed down a bit, too. Just a bit.

Tonight I have to fill out a new negotiation form to give to my primary play partners - something I've been promising for some time but I haven't gotten around to yet. ugh. In the last 6 months I've tried to tone down my play, and been consciously trying to reduce my pain tolerance (though I'm still a sucker for a good beating, and I'll never NOT like it rough ) Consequently though, I owe my partners a new negotiation form - meh.

I've been listening to PJ Harvey's "is this desire" album incessantly today - it's amazing how music can bring one back to a time, a feeling, a memory... reliving that moment all over again. This album reminds me of senior year in college, afternoons sitting on a 22nd floor windowsill with T., smoking cigarettes, and loving each other... many people have that someone that "got away" - for me, it was her.