dinosaurus

Bleh. I had to take a 4 hour Sexual Harassment and Discrimination in the Workplace Prevention course this morning. I hate classes when people take it upon themselves to argue about stupid shit that is pretty much off point. I want to shake them, and say, "Hey, stupid fucker! You're a moron. Please cut that shit out. I am irritated." I'm never able to convey what I'm trying to say clearly enough. That, and overly aggressive classroom arguers tend to intimidate me. Fuck, everything intimidates me. I'm too scared to go get a haircut, because a) I'm too timid to ask for (and ensure I get) what I want and b) I'm terrified I can't "work it."

I'm an idiot. But I mean well!

I'm not overly fond of summer. My pasty-pale complexion doesn't agree with all this sun and heat nonsense. I dehydrate far too quickly, which makes me drink tons of water (which isn't a bad thing), which makes me run to the john every half an hour. My SMUD bill will be... well, I can't say through the roof, because it couldn't be worse than ones we had over winter, living at the drafty duplex. Which I blame heavily on asshole roommate leaving the heat on while he would smoke out the open sliding glass door. Which I shouldn't get started about, because it's over and done with, and we're no longer roommates. (Breathe.)

Yeah. The weather's been pretty nice, which I'm so very grateful for. I haven't needed to turn the A/C on- though fans are another story.

I feel a little bit like I'm regressing to the person I was a few years ago. I feel any progress I've made in trying to embolden myself (if that makes sense) has been lost. Maybe I just need to "shake it out." I don't exactly know what I mean by that. Just get all this negativity off me. (Maybe?)

Tonight, I have plans! Goals! The class I took yesterday got me a bit paranoid about being robbed, so I think I might photograph anything I would hate having stolen, write down the serial numbers an all that good stuff, maybe use the dremel to engrave my initials in to things. I learned that you need to know that information if you ever want to see your stolen items again. Pretty lame, no? I also need to continue purging my wardrobe and things I never use. Aaand clean house.

I should get started now. I've got tiiiiiiime. I have so many awesome tshirts I never seem to wear anymore, but I can't stand the thought of giving them away. But they just chill there in my drawer. Alas!