digitaladdiction

Ani DiFranko and a mood came together with occurance and sunshine today ...

I would offer you my pulse. I would give you my breath. I would offer you my pulse, I would give you my breath

That's so much oblivion of the self, that I find it shocking.

But I think we've all been there, for a moment, at least.

I'm sure it's not healthy to live in a mood like that, where you exist only for another -- the lines can blur, and pretty soon you are not the you you wanted to be any longer.

As long as I've been around, I've never seen anyone able to inhabit another for long. It doesn't work.

But the intersection of sun, a book, a conversation, and a song brought me back to an old lover today.

Let's hold here. Keep holding.. Let's just stay here.

Sometimes, life gives you a few perfect moments. And in times of stress, or contentment, or a cooincidential wind, the memory can come flooding back as if it were moments ago, and not years.

The fall of her hair across her shoulders, the way the light caught her eyes ... the sheer green intensity of her smile.

I actually caught my breath today, it came back to me with such force.

You crawled into my bed that night
Like some sort of giant insect
And I found myself spellbound at the sight of you.
Beautiful and grotesque, and all of that bug stuff.
Buffing your way into my mouth, behind my teeth,
Reaching for my scars,
Like the night we got kicked out two bars
And laughed our way home

The sheer moment of the decisions taken are sometimes beyond us to comprehend at the time we make them.

But the sun -- today, it and chance brought back the perfect, and -- the end.

I still don't think I could have done anything differently and actually survived the transition.

But we all have moments of perfection.

That's beautiful.

I hope your moments of beauty are frequent, and less harrowing.

EDIT

Ok, that was mostly creative writing.

I felt a bit inspired.

Then I went out birdwatching, and while I didn't see the great blue heron at my local park, I did get to see lots of red-winged blackbirds, which are pretty enough, and singing a lot at the moment trying to attract mates.

I saw a few fish hitting bugs at the top of the pond, and a mallard drake with his green head lit by the sun off the water.

There are some colors in nature that aren't really easy to duplicate, and that's one.