dickie

My niece Lucy is walking (she's a little kid)!

Addendum and Corrigendum: "dickie's life." It's bad enough that the woman at the gas station called me a regular, and referred to the beer as my "usual six-pack," but it's another thing to realize that she's the woman—who works at the barbecue—that I have a crush on, and that the thrill is gone.

If we learn anything from Bad Lieutenant, we should learn

a) That miracles do happen in baseball.

and

b) "YOU RAT FUCK! . . . WHERE WERE YOU?!"

This poor woman I know somehow manages to say the most inappropriate things. Today she asked how my break was. I said, "okay. How was yours?" Then she said something else and then "too many parents." I didn't have the heart to tell her that that was fucking horrible.

They installed an icecream vending machine at work!

It's got a window and everything. A vacuum hose picks up the icecream!

50,000 confirmed.

Coming South.

On the way in from the airport there's a Piggly Wiggly sign with Mr. Wiggly holding a paper bag of collards, and the billboard reads:

Got Collards?

And the good old Nahunta Pork Center still has its maskot the Pork King---a poorly drawn pig wearing a crown.

And the voices, oh boy, the voices, like the cashier at the grocery: "Y'got five cent?"...
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My demons work in mysterious ways.

I got into my truck yesterday and there was a back pack in the floor of the driver's side. I've never seen this thing before. How did it get inside the cab of a locked truck?

I finally find a mechanical pencil I like and three years later, wham!, they redesign the damn thing.

Addendum: I'm a fucking moron.

Me and my girlfriend (Math).

While we don't have the healthiest relationship, I do find myself smiling a bit. I mean, sure, she's austere and she gives it out all over town---not many of them make her cum either, but a bunch of em get closer than I do---but that doesn't bother me, unless they give her a present that I wanted to get her,...
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