The regularly planned update for this space (in which dholokhov spun clever anecdotes and observations, as well as created a list of the top ten screen names he would have chosen had dholokhov not been available) has been pre-empted to bring you the following self-serving emo whining:
er, you might not want to go on.
ok, you asked for it.
So there's this girl (you knew it was going to start that way). We've worked together since I got there and in fact for the last year or so she's been one of the semi-managers in the department. And we get along well and stuff, we both really like My So-Called Life and the West Wing (seriously, "I wouldn't stop for red lights" is the best line ever uttered on television). We made clever comments about shallow pathetic HR drones . And for about the last six months or so I've noticed that I've actually been a little jealous when she laughs at jokes made by other men. Now that's shallow and immature yes, but the bigger picture here is that it snuck up on me that I really liked her. has it ever surprised you to learn that you had feelings for someone? It's weird.
And it was no big deal because she had begun seeing someone, and longtime readers at this space will remember I had a few brief outings with a girl around Christmas. And of course we worked together and if you wanted to split hairs she was almost like my boss. It was like this happy little secret that I had.
She announced today that she is moving to London (the one in England) on July 29th to live with her boyfriend for two years. And again I was surprised at how I felt.
Now I know I'm making it into a bigger deal than it is. We never had anything at all together. There's no guarantee that she would even want to go out with me, or that it would be a good idea if she did. I could just like her because she's around, and because we have work stuff that we can talk about together. I might even be bitter because I've made this boyfriend into a competition, and I've obviously lost. But that didn't make it easier to try and not act all hurt when everyone else was congratulating her and telling her how happy they were for her.
er, you might not want to go on.
ok, you asked for it.
So there's this girl (you knew it was going to start that way). We've worked together since I got there and in fact for the last year or so she's been one of the semi-managers in the department. And we get along well and stuff, we both really like My So-Called Life and the West Wing (seriously, "I wouldn't stop for red lights" is the best line ever uttered on television). We made clever comments about shallow pathetic HR drones . And for about the last six months or so I've noticed that I've actually been a little jealous when she laughs at jokes made by other men. Now that's shallow and immature yes, but the bigger picture here is that it snuck up on me that I really liked her. has it ever surprised you to learn that you had feelings for someone? It's weird.
And it was no big deal because she had begun seeing someone, and longtime readers at this space will remember I had a few brief outings with a girl around Christmas. And of course we worked together and if you wanted to split hairs she was almost like my boss. It was like this happy little secret that I had.
She announced today that she is moving to London (the one in England) on July 29th to live with her boyfriend for two years. And again I was surprised at how I felt.
Now I know I'm making it into a bigger deal than it is. We never had anything at all together. There's no guarantee that she would even want to go out with me, or that it would be a good idea if she did. I could just like her because she's around, and because we have work stuff that we can talk about together. I might even be bitter because I've made this boyfriend into a competition, and I've obviously lost. But that didn't make it easier to try and not act all hurt when everyone else was congratulating her and telling her how happy they were for her.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
I'm on vacation this week.
Vacation vacation vacation.
moving on,
Thanks for the critque, that's exactly what I was looking for. It's always nice when people tell me how great my writing is and how much they liked it, but you don't get any better by being told that you're great. Good looking out on the silence theme, in the fisrt draft, which I trashed, there was a line in the preperatio chapter about how places that you're accustomed to being loud look different in silence. I was then going to expand it when discussing the television in mute. But sometimes you think of somehing and you just can't find space for it, or time, so it gets left out. It'll reappear somewhere. As for the cabs/tube, I think in my mind the tube is so analgous with London that I felt they didn't need to have a personal connection with it. Also Fangs and Jack were only part of the group. In my mind it just made sense that going to London equals using the tube to some extent, so therefore it was engrained in their minds.
The story itself is not part of a larger anything, although I might want to play with the charcters some more that always happens to me, I fall in love with my charcters and want to play with them as much as possible, usually by giving them nasty drug problems or killing people they care about. sort of a sadist, me. I was actually using the charcters, and story more as a templete to see what I could do with a novel, how many charcters and themes can I succesffuly juggle about, that sort of thing. As for the confusion, I think I'm still figuring it out, but I've had to finally go for broke and have total faith in whoever's going to read it, that I can go off in any direction, be a weird or surreal or honest or nonsensical as I want to be and I'm finally learning to trust my own skills and my auidence enough that I'll be able to take it there and they'll be able to follow. That, if I may be so arrogant, I think is part of what seperates the men from the boys in this game.
Okay, enough rambling, this is longer than you're orginal journal entry. One day you'll have to post something of yours, but don't owrry, the worst I'll be is honest.