Okay, I feel like a total bastard. What's worse is that I don't know why, as I don't feel in the wrong in this situtation, nor do my friends see me as being in the wrong.
Here we go...
[Context] *Add three measures of dramatic pause*
I'm in my final year of what is a difficult degree, there's about 4 months left but it's now that the work load is *really* intense. I have about a month of solid 'me' time needed in order to meet the solid deadlines of these 20 credit point modules.
Well anyway, I digress, or not. But yeah, I split up with Erika, a woman (28) with whom I fell completely in love with. We're talking that intense, strange love that's kinda head-spinny. But yes, after a few months it burned out, simply because I asn't close enough (geographically) to supply her with what she needed, she had issues. BIG issues. She ditched me heartlessly and moved on without regard for my feelings, even though she'd promised me the world. She'd said a lot of things to which we both considered to be a big deal, and the fact that she felt this way made us feel secure in what we had. So anyway, she found someone else closer, or went back to her ex, who lived close by. Either way, I was devastated. I haven't spoken to her since. It took me months to even see the light, yet I'm still not 'over' it in the way that I don't feel as if I can trust anyone in that way anymore.
Again, I'm straying. She split up with me in November. Well in late december, a girl from my Italian class showed an interest in me. Reluctantly, we started hanging out as friends and yes, she was fun to spend time with. We both decided to have a very casual sexual relationship, with no strings attached. And yes, that's what it seemed to be for a long time. We didn't have to call each other, we didn't have to see each other, just every now and again we'd meet up, get drunk and fulfil our carnal desires. Although the sex was terrible, it didn't feel right - we had no click or spark there - but it wasn't as if we were bound to it.
Then something changed, I don't know what or when, but something changed. Her friends seemed to be interested in who I was and I found myself being forced to see her more, meeting her friends in the process. Don't get me wrong, she was a nice person, had a few strong views but we clashed so damn much and I just simply didn't *LIKE* her. She annoyed me more than she amused me. But I still made sure the score was clear, I am busy and was getting increasingly busy as time went on and she knew this. The cards were on the table.
[Problem]
All of a sudden, she busts my ass for not contacting her in a week - something that was a regular occurance. Again, we discuss things and decide that she should back off for a while to let me sort out my life and get on with what I'm at university to do, get a damned degree. That very night of her agreeing to this, she turns up at 1am, drunk, thinking that it'd be a good idea to see me. Well normally I have a lot of trouble sleeping, but lately, due to my improved diet and exercise routines I've been both needing more sleep and actually getting it. But she woke me up at 1 am after I'd been asleep for 2 hours. Not expecting to see her and having already agreed to giving me some space, I got mad. I didn't shout, I just made it clear I wasn't happy to see her. She slept in my bed that night because she wouldn't go home. She took up all the room and I was so irritated that I waited til 4am before finally getting up and sleeping on the sofa. I got 2 hours sleep and then had to get up and start my work agian.
She left the next morning upset, as I told her that I wasn't happy she turned up - she thought I'd be pleased to see her, not the case. I think she felt a little embarrassed that her actions weren't appreciated. She left without saying goodbye and I didn't hear from her in days. I sent her an SMS saying "how you doing?" and she then gets pissed off saying I have a cheek for "dumping" her and then trying to talk to her. I tell her I'm unaware that we were dating and that without that one cannot dump another. She said that we could have been more and I didn't give it a chance - to which I say that I'm too busy yo try, not having time for anyone but myself. The same thing that was said right at the start and all the way through it all.
She says she never wants to speak to me again.
What have I done wrong? Is it my fault? Or hers? I don't particualrly care for her, but I feel bad for, according to her, treating someone badly. Although I don't know what I have meant to have done.
Ugh. But it does prove the point I had, I have no time for this sort of shit this year.
Here we go...
[Context] *Add three measures of dramatic pause*
I'm in my final year of what is a difficult degree, there's about 4 months left but it's now that the work load is *really* intense. I have about a month of solid 'me' time needed in order to meet the solid deadlines of these 20 credit point modules.
Well anyway, I digress, or not. But yeah, I split up with Erika, a woman (28) with whom I fell completely in love with. We're talking that intense, strange love that's kinda head-spinny. But yes, after a few months it burned out, simply because I asn't close enough (geographically) to supply her with what she needed, she had issues. BIG issues. She ditched me heartlessly and moved on without regard for my feelings, even though she'd promised me the world. She'd said a lot of things to which we both considered to be a big deal, and the fact that she felt this way made us feel secure in what we had. So anyway, she found someone else closer, or went back to her ex, who lived close by. Either way, I was devastated. I haven't spoken to her since. It took me months to even see the light, yet I'm still not 'over' it in the way that I don't feel as if I can trust anyone in that way anymore.
Again, I'm straying. She split up with me in November. Well in late december, a girl from my Italian class showed an interest in me. Reluctantly, we started hanging out as friends and yes, she was fun to spend time with. We both decided to have a very casual sexual relationship, with no strings attached. And yes, that's what it seemed to be for a long time. We didn't have to call each other, we didn't have to see each other, just every now and again we'd meet up, get drunk and fulfil our carnal desires. Although the sex was terrible, it didn't feel right - we had no click or spark there - but it wasn't as if we were bound to it.
Then something changed, I don't know what or when, but something changed. Her friends seemed to be interested in who I was and I found myself being forced to see her more, meeting her friends in the process. Don't get me wrong, she was a nice person, had a few strong views but we clashed so damn much and I just simply didn't *LIKE* her. She annoyed me more than she amused me. But I still made sure the score was clear, I am busy and was getting increasingly busy as time went on and she knew this. The cards were on the table.
[Problem]
All of a sudden, she busts my ass for not contacting her in a week - something that was a regular occurance. Again, we discuss things and decide that she should back off for a while to let me sort out my life and get on with what I'm at university to do, get a damned degree. That very night of her agreeing to this, she turns up at 1am, drunk, thinking that it'd be a good idea to see me. Well normally I have a lot of trouble sleeping, but lately, due to my improved diet and exercise routines I've been both needing more sleep and actually getting it. But she woke me up at 1 am after I'd been asleep for 2 hours. Not expecting to see her and having already agreed to giving me some space, I got mad. I didn't shout, I just made it clear I wasn't happy to see her. She slept in my bed that night because she wouldn't go home. She took up all the room and I was so irritated that I waited til 4am before finally getting up and sleeping on the sofa. I got 2 hours sleep and then had to get up and start my work agian.
She left the next morning upset, as I told her that I wasn't happy she turned up - she thought I'd be pleased to see her, not the case. I think she felt a little embarrassed that her actions weren't appreciated. She left without saying goodbye and I didn't hear from her in days. I sent her an SMS saying "how you doing?" and she then gets pissed off saying I have a cheek for "dumping" her and then trying to talk to her. I tell her I'm unaware that we were dating and that without that one cannot dump another. She said that we could have been more and I didn't give it a chance - to which I say that I'm too busy yo try, not having time for anyone but myself. The same thing that was said right at the start and all the way through it all.
She says she never wants to speak to me again.
What have I done wrong? Is it my fault? Or hers? I don't particualrly care for her, but I feel bad for, according to her, treating someone badly. Although I don't know what I have meant to have done.
Ugh. But it does prove the point I had, I have no time for this sort of shit this year.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Even if he does realize what happened, I can't see past how vile he was to me. She turned him into someone who believes what SHE says before listening to others, and he ended our long-term, trustful friendship without hearing what I had to say.
Told you it was long.