devilsbite

My ex sent me this the other day:

Fw: The Pearls
Hi Eric,

So I've decided to forward this email to you even though it speaks of God. I believe the final message it imparts is something you need to know and believe. There are better things out there for you Eric. There are better emotions and better relationships and happier times. There is True Love and not just from the wonderful lady you will find that completes that part of your heart. It's true and I truly and deeply believe that it's waiting for you. You just need to let go of some things within you.

Love always,
Jacque

::::::::::story removed for brevity:::::::::::::

I replied with:

Thank you, I like the idea that somebody is thinking
positive thoughts for me. I've been trying to absorb
the message of The Pearls for the last while, but I
still come up pretty much empty. Don't get me wrong,
I understand the philosophical (as well as
psychological) importance of being able to let go of
the past to be open to the future. Unfortunately I
still feel incapable of experiencing joy.

I have, over the years, meditated many times on why
some people burn out, i.e. Hendrix, Balushi, Joplin,
Morrison etc. Kind of like Roy from Blade Runner -
The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as
long.

I've been taking an anti-depressant for a number of
months now and while I can say that my world is not as
dark as it had been I still fail to see the point in
existing. I appreciate your kind words but I do not
believe that there is true love and happiness waiting
for me in the world, only more tomorrows that are
nearly identical to yesterday.

My best days are behind me.

Thank you for allowing me this conversation. I hope
you are well.

Eric
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SG is the last line of defense in my battle for sanity.