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devil_bitch

Kansas City

Member Since 2004

Followers 108 Following 102

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Sunday Mar 20, 2005

Mar 20, 2005
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My friend in Hawaii had a baby recently. The link to his first official photo shoot is below. I am so happy for her. She has been trying to have a baby for a long time. I told her all she needed was the right guy. The baby's name is Darion Escher. Can you tell that dad is an artist? Actually that is why they are in Hawaii. He got an aprenticeship in a studio there. They left KC in August of last year. I miss her so much. She is one of my closet friends. But now I have a free place to stay in Honolulu. I am trying to get there this year too.

cutest baby ever next to mine

This does not help the ticking of my biological clock. I know that I already have a son but what I really want is a family. I want a husband who worships me, who loves my son, and to have lots of beautiful babies with him. I admit that I want the nice diamond ring, the beautiful wedding, and the white house with the picket fence. I also know about reality. Those things are desires but not necessities. I wanted to be married and done having kids by 30. Now 30 is right around the corner and I haven't even had a real date in 5 years. I know that this is not going to happen. *shrug* I don't know. This is another issue that always raises it's ugly head right around my bday.

I am thankful for what I have and will be appreciative of what I get. I know that there is a plan for me and my life. I will trust the Universe.

btw: Happy Vernal Equinox!!

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jill:
it wasss sooo coool
katie is an SG GODDESS
Mar 20, 2005
contradiction:
*sigh* I live with my guy, he is fantastic, dotes on me, loves me so much, he is beautiful and charismatic, people worship him, and I have him...haha. He is like a second dad to my son, they love each other to death. It is adorable.

And he still won't do the ring. He is *ahem* nearly 31. He is scared. He had parents who split up very poorly, and has "never seen that whole thing work". He says he knows it is important to me, yet can't do it out of fear. I don't even want the picket fence, I want the life we have now - the psuedo-rockstar/geeky homebody life we have. It's great. If he said he never wanted kids, I would be OK with that. If he said he did, I would be OK with that too. I just want the symbolism, the pride in our love that he will not give.

My ? is if you know you are afraid, don't you push forward? He always has with everything else, which is why he is who he is today.

So I kinda understand. But not totally.

[Edited on Mar 21, 2005 5:05PM]
Mar 21, 2005

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