Sorry Christians!! It was just too funny not to share. If there is a hell I'll see you there.
Top Ten Jesus Jokes
10. Jesus Christ walks into an inn. He hands the innkeeper 3 nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"
9. Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got hung up on his boards.
8. Why is Jesus lucky? He got nailed three times in one night
7. What's the difference between a porn star and Jesus? Jesus only came twice
6. Why did Jesus cross the road? Because he was nailed to the chicken!
5. Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? They keep falling through his hands
4. Why could Jesus walk on Water? Shit floats.
3. *gestures the biting of palms* What's this? Jesus biting his nails.
2. *gestures Jesus on a crucifix* Whats this? A shitty way to spend easter.
1. What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
Today is a good day. As if we couldn't tell by the Jesus jokes. I had my favorite for dinner last night. Chicken tacos....MMMM... Chicken tacos. I also got to have the run of a friend's MP3 collection. I got some great stuff. I got some Christian Death, The Resident Evil Soundtrack, some Beethoven, A little Black Tape For a Blue Girl, some NIN, and other randomness that is me. I have to work on my school work today. Seriously. It is all due Tuesday. I need to look for a job. I think that I am going to go with a Temp agency just to get some work. I am in love with Jess. OMG she is so fucking hot!! I had to add her to my favorites the minute I saw her set. Oh and the internet guy... yeah I don't think that is going to work out. I like him and all but I don't have the energy to invest into someone who is in need of that much attention. Great guy but he has issues. I am not down for that. We can still be friends. Yes the dreaded friends label. I hate it too but like I told him I can't love someone just to have them die on me. If you want to be miserable and suicidal you go right ahead. Nothing that I am saying to him matters. So I think that I'll be around if he really wants to talk but as for more... I don't know. Why am I always picking the damaged ones? I guess that is what happens when you are into Goth boys. Not that they have all been goth boys. I guess I just like a fixer upper. Perhaps that is why I am still single. HA!!! I didn't make to the tattoo convention yesterday. Suck!! That is ok. It only would have made me jones for ink so bad that I would have thrown a fit in the middle of the hotel. I was hoping to meet the hot tattooed and pierced man of my dreams. One day I will.
Top Ten Jesus Jokes
10. Jesus Christ walks into an inn. He hands the innkeeper 3 nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"
9. Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got hung up on his boards.
8. Why is Jesus lucky? He got nailed three times in one night
7. What's the difference between a porn star and Jesus? Jesus only came twice
6. Why did Jesus cross the road? Because he was nailed to the chicken!
5. Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? They keep falling through his hands
4. Why could Jesus walk on Water? Shit floats.
3. *gestures the biting of palms* What's this? Jesus biting his nails.
2. *gestures Jesus on a crucifix* Whats this? A shitty way to spend easter.
1. What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
Today is a good day. As if we couldn't tell by the Jesus jokes. I had my favorite for dinner last night. Chicken tacos....MMMM... Chicken tacos. I also got to have the run of a friend's MP3 collection. I got some great stuff. I got some Christian Death, The Resident Evil Soundtrack, some Beethoven, A little Black Tape For a Blue Girl, some NIN, and other randomness that is me. I have to work on my school work today. Seriously. It is all due Tuesday. I need to look for a job. I think that I am going to go with a Temp agency just to get some work. I am in love with Jess. OMG she is so fucking hot!! I had to add her to my favorites the minute I saw her set. Oh and the internet guy... yeah I don't think that is going to work out. I like him and all but I don't have the energy to invest into someone who is in need of that much attention. Great guy but he has issues. I am not down for that. We can still be friends. Yes the dreaded friends label. I hate it too but like I told him I can't love someone just to have them die on me. If you want to be miserable and suicidal you go right ahead. Nothing that I am saying to him matters. So I think that I'll be around if he really wants to talk but as for more... I don't know. Why am I always picking the damaged ones? I guess that is what happens when you are into Goth boys. Not that they have all been goth boys. I guess I just like a fixer upper. Perhaps that is why I am still single. HA!!! I didn't make to the tattoo convention yesterday. Suck!! That is ok. It only would have made me jones for ink so bad that I would have thrown a fit in the middle of the hotel. I was hoping to meet the hot tattooed and pierced man of my dreams. One day I will.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
dirtylilmonkey:
My sentiments exactly!!! "One day I hope to meet the tattoed, pierced up girl of my dreams!" I know she's out there some where....Just waiting to be swept away and WORSHIPED by me!!! Until then, I wait, cocked & loaded... 
dirtylilmonkey:
Hey it happens to the best of us all!!! 