devil_bitch

Everyday I get closer and closer to telling everyone to fuck off and move away to Canada withought a single backward glance. I am so sick of things here. Situations may not be different somewhere else but better scenery and good pot would make up for it.

I have two friends that are moving to British Columbia, Canada in the summer. After they went to Ontario for vacation in June. they decided that they were going to move to Canada. But, that they wanted to move to BC. As time keeps going by everyday they make more concrete plans. They have an apartment lined up and one of them is applying to schools up there. So they are pretty resolved on going. Which makes me sad to think that I will only see then a couple of times a year if that. More and more I find myself thinking about just packing my shit and going. But it is not realistic. I have to stay here to care for my mother and she is not going to move to Canada. Plus I don't know how fair it would be to my son to uproot him like that away from all of his family. I honestly don't care for my family so I won't miss them. And my ex's parents I could be ok only seeing a few times a year on holidays. All that really matters to me is my son and my mother. A move to Canada might not be the best of things for either one of them right now. I don't think my mom has very many years left with us. I don't want to shorten that in any way by giving her a traumatic move or distance us so many miles apart from each other that I wouldn't be by her side when she did leave this existence.

But I don't think that I can live a life here in Kansas City. I need to go somewhere beautiful. Surround myself in nature's glory to soak it in and let it heal me. Canada is so beautiful and it is so much closer to nature than we are here in the states. The gorgeous forests and rivers. I can't wait to see them in person instead of beautiful pictures and video.

I need a big change.