TSA to Begin Live Testing of New Experimental Airport Screening Methods
With ire on the rise about extreme wait times in airport screening lines, the Transportation Security Administration has decided to launch its radical new screening methods at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. By now, most everyone is familiar with the egregiously slow pace of the security checkpoints. It's not uncommon to encounter extreme wait times...
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Went to a friend's house last night for her kid's grad party/sending off (she's doing some kind of volunteer thing in Hawaii for her first year of adulthood). I was the only single person in the house (not counting minors -- though shit, even the kids are getting more play than me, let's be serious) save for one other person. Lo and behold, the sole...
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Finland Introduces Sauna at New BK Lounge, Competition Scrambles to One-Up
Helsinki, Finland – In an ever-growing trend of “nude food,” proprietors of a Burger King in Helsinki collaborated with celebrity designer Tuero Loman and opened a resort spa within their restaurant. The once tiny Mannerheimintie branch of the American fast food “king” opened their doors to the new Burger & Spa King this Tuesday....
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White House to Enact Title X
Capitol Hill – The White House has been poised to offer guidance on the recent hot-button topic of transgender bathroom usage. Until recently, the Obama Administration had thrown around several ideas to acquiesce to the needs of the transgender community, to include armed gender guards posted outside of all public and school restrooms, or special chimes that announced the...
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Trump Named Herald of the Apocalypse
Trump Tower, New York - The sky rained fire Wednesday night as the news of real estate mogul Donald Trump's victory over the remaining presidential candidates was announced. Trump's sweep of the Indiana Primaries on the 3rd caused fellow candidates John Kasich and Ted Cruz to respectfully bow out. Upon the news of their dropping out, Trump opened a...
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Radical Islamist Militants Execute Canadian. Not Sorry.
Former Canadian Parliament member John Risdel was executed Sunday by the Islamist Militant group Abu Sayyaf, operating out of the Philippines. Risdel, a reporter for the Calgary Herald, was one of several foreign dignitaries captured between September of last year and this April. Among the nationals captured are Robert Hall, Marites Flor, and a Ronald McDonald impersonator.
When...
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When I first joined this site, I was young, more attractive, and still remembered what a vagina looked like up close. I also wrote a lot. Any story I wanted to tell, or anything I thought was funny, I'd post it here. And I was actually kind of popular. The format was different and there were more people my age, but I wrote a lot...
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So I've been single since Jesus. My longest relationship in the last three years was four dates. Well, three and a sudden "we shouldn't see each other anymore" meeting. I'm totally confident in my ability to not only approach, but talk to women. Don't let my jesting here make you think otherwise. I call myself ugly, CHUD, and worse all in good fun. If I...
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