The long weekend will be accompanied by a couple bottles of gin, an empty notebook, and a pen. Maybe I'll even post something that's not pathetic. Wish me luck. Or don't. I don't care either way.

jozsef:
You could always write about indifference. Not that it matters to me. ;)

jozsef:
If that's your worst possible outcome then the bottom is still awaiting your arrival. Don't hit it too hard. And no spanking jokes.

Panties Drop After Promposal

Celebrated actress - and everyone's down-to-earth nerd-crush - Emma Stone has threatened her producer with suicide if she isn't given leave from her current filming commitments to attend prom with a 17 year old boy in Arizona. The 28 year old red-haired comedic heartbreaker, who hails from Scottsdale, AZ, herself is one of many celebrities in recent years to receive "promposals...
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MTV Movie Awards Go Gender Neutral

In a bold move to promote gender equality amongst celebrities and other rich/elite, MTV (which is supposed to stand for “Music TV” but they no longer really play music videos) has upped the ante on their annual MTV Movie Awards show, ditching the old moniker, and now calling it the “MTV Televised Movin’ Pictures and Other Things Awards...
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United Airlines Changes Business Model

In light of recent PR nightmares involving non-revenue passengers' dress codes and involuntarily removing passengers [with extreme prejudice] to make room for flight crews, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has declared they have changed their business model to become more attractive to a wider variety of possible passengers.

Said Munoz, "The changes we've made, which have already gone into...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
deuteranopia:
@jozsef Alas, I wish I did have a degree; it would help me move away from the doldrums of my current work and afford me something a little more luxurious. For real, though. I never did finish college. But if it will make you happy, I totally have at least a Masters, Bachelors, and Associate degree. Underwater Basket Weaving, Feminist Dance Therapy, and Animal Husbandry. You pick the order.
jozsef:
Well, I'm in the same boat, but due only to a multi-decade attack of stupidity and less than perfect planning. You know, little slip ups that can be easily forgiven. None of that is an excuse for letting the unforgiving spectre of accuracy taint a good story. I hereby declare your account of United to be factual. BTW, I have a Manul named Gordon guarding the back garden of my house and neither rats nor salesmen have been bothering me or the servants ever since he came. 

This is a fact that I am fully aware of. Don't worry, I'm not butthurt by it. I know precisely how much I mean to the general populace. I digress.

If anyone WAS curious, and there might be one or two of you out there, I HAVE still been writing, just not posting. Here. If you're truly a fan, head on over...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
amberetta:
It's not like you don't know how to message me... Do you still have my #? 
deuteranopia:
@amberetta No. I think I've changed phones three times since then.

New Forms of Terrorism, New Countermeasures

Terrorism has taken its grim toll in the last few decades, and with its body count comes newer, more devious methods of exacting that toll. From suicide bombings to using airplanes as high-speed lawn darts, to vast amounts of liquid Syphilis dumped into civilian water supplies. Now soldiers and civilians in decadent, immoral Western filth-pig lands face a new...
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Breitbart Acquires Major Comic Book Company

As Walt Disney bought out Marvel Comics (and thusly Marvel Comics Studios, the movie division of the comic book company) back in 2009, the Breitbart News Network bought out the redundantly named D.C. Comics in an effort to push the conservative agenda, as well as promote newly appointed President Trump's ideology in a form they believe will...
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President Unveils ObamaCare Replacement

Washington DC - It's been a busy week for Oh Wise and Overripe Ruler Trump. Earlier in the week he repealed Title X (Ten) which was enacted in May of last year by former President Obama. The title called for policing of transgender people who attempted to use the incorrectly assigned bathrooms by way of formerly decommissioned Sentinel Mutant-Hunting cyborgs. With...
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I haven't been back to Wisconsin (my home state) for nearly a decade. The last time I was up there, it was for my father's wake (no need to apologize, I hated the man with an undying passion. I only went because he had the good graces to conceive me in the first place). I'm not much of a family man, but...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
deuteranopia:
@cessie between that and the lion balls, it was tough to choose a favorite, but you're right, the Trump Hotel one wins out.
user8992:
Love it! Great blog my friend 😊