Apple Goes Back to Basics

Due to the popularity of the iPhone, the technology and media conglomerate, Apple, has announced the newest addition to its line of cellular phones: the rPhone. The rPhone is a sleek, alt-phone with retro styling that uses a rotary disc for dialing numbers.

The rPhone, much like the iPod, features a center click button which activates many of the phone's features; a retro-styled rotary dial takes care of the rest. Like the the rotary phones of old, the rPhone makes all the nostalgic noises of its 60's brethren, and must be "hung up" in order to correct erroneous number entries. The sleek rPhone weighs a meager 12.3 ounces and touts a 2" LCD screen when opened. Apple has turned the chore of dialing every single digit of a phone number into nostalgic fun.

Apple hopes to appeal to an older crowd with this alternative phone, but already young hipsters are pre-ordering the rPhone in an attempt to live out the rigors of what their parents went through with landlines.

Said one excited teenage customer, "Who would have ever thought that repeatedly entering numbers on a large dial pad could be so much fun? You can even use the rotary dial as a paddle-moving device for the built-in Pong game! I'm so excited to be living out the hardships my parents suffered when late-night dialing their boyfriend or girlfriend!"

As a response to the clamor brought on by the younger crowds, Apple also announced a new pPhone, which will incorporate a built in pay device that requires the owner to plug quarters into it for every five minutes of talk time. The key to the pPhone's money receptacle will be sold separately.