Here's another article I wrote years ago, because, as the above picture states, I haven't written shit lately. I'm kind of useless.
Cause for fuss: North Korea lanches "Party Satellite"
On Sunday, April 5th, the tiny Communist nation of North Korea successfully launched a satellite-bearing rocket over Japanese airspace and into the Earth's orbit. The launch took place at 11:30 am on the northeastern coast after over a month of debates with neighboring Japan and the United Nations. The payload, a communications satellite capable of broadcasting "XM" satellite radio transmissions, was indeed successful in making orbit, despite NORAD contradictions. The Koreans have dubbed the device "Pahty Saterite, Mahk One."
North Korean leader, and recluse, Kim Jong-II, was pleased with the launch and had this to say: "All Norf Korea want is to rissen to ohdees. Now even poor man can rissen to Eagles and Eric Crapton wiff help of Pahty Saterite!"
The launch had been condemned by the United Nations, as well as newly elected President Obama, in debates last month.
"The launch was in direct violation of a 2006 Security Council Resolution prohibiting Pyongyang from ballistic missile launches," said US Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice. "If those fucking Commies are able to listen to satellite radio, it will bolster their resolve, meanwhile giving them access to the hits of the 70's, 80's, and 90's! We simply cannot allow this!" Rice went on to say.
Many believe that the US and the UN opposed the launch due to implications of Korea's nuclear progress and the chance that the tiny nation could send a ballistic missile towards its enemies. "This is a common misconception," Rice tells our reporters. "We're not at all concerned with North Korea's nuclear capabilities, but by God, we'll not have those Commie bastards singing along to American music icons while tuned in to Satellite Radio! Why couldn't they just pirate that shit off the internet like any other malcontent?"
