deuteranopia

Black Lives Matter Movement Strikes Back

Dallas, TX – A sniper rained black justice upon officers of the Dallas Police Force during an anti-police march on Thursday. A young African American male (who remains unidentified) was recorded exclaiming he wished harm upon members of the Dallas Police Department, specifically white cops. This was in retaliation to the separate back-to-back killings (or, as the Black Lives...
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And now for your weekly dose of "I'm going to Hell for laughing at this."

Terrorist Attack Fails to Reach High Score

A terrorist attack rocked Istanbul’s Ataturk Airport, Tuesday, leaving 41 dead and at least 239 injured, but still better looking than Zika babies. Reports are still sketchy, and none of the known terrorist cells have claimed responsibility, but the profile seems to implicate...
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I'm probably going to Hell for this. Note, these are NOT my actual views. This is satire.

Feminists Wail for Equality, Take it Back

For decades, feminists have rightfully demanded equality with their male counterparts. In the past, the movement has achieved the right to vote, pay equality, and, more recently, the ability to qualify for combat roles in the Armed Forces. Yet the feminist...
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Area “Tweeter” Threatens to Delete Account, Hang Self

Area man Michael Hunter Jefferson (a.k.a. @MikeHuntJeff on Twitter) has threatened deletion of all forms of social media if he “doesn’t get one follower by the end of the week.” In an era of sharing every facet of one’s life on social media sites (such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram), television and movie celebrities, sports icons, and...
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US Law Enforcement to Change Rules of the Road

We've all been behind, trying to get to work, or late for that new Fifty Shades of Gray movie because some dickmouth in a beat up old Chevy Impala with rusted out fenders in front of us just wouldn't fucking “GO!!!” More and more traffic stoppages are occurring nationwide because the elderly behind the wheel are...
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Debate Sparked Over Death of Zoo Gorilla

Cincinnati, OH – Arguments between PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and the Cincinnati Zoo directorship are in full swing after the killing of an exhibit gorilla this weekend. It began with an asshole 3 year old screwing around while his inattentive parents completely ignored his horsing around an imminent fall into the zoo's ape habitat....
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TSA to Begin Live Testing of New Experimental Airport Screening Methods

With ire on the rise about extreme wait times in airport screening lines, the Transportation Security Administration has decided to launch its radical new screening methods at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. By now, most everyone is familiar with the egregiously slow pace of the security checkpoints. It's not uncommon to encounter extreme wait times...
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Went to a friend's house last night for her kid's grad party/sending off (she's doing some kind of volunteer thing in Hawaii for her first year of adulthood). I was the only single person in the house (not counting minors -- though shit, even the kids are getting more play than me, let's be serious) save for one other person. Lo and behold, the sole...
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