Galactic Greetings Motherfuckers,
Here's to an evolved/de-evolved new year (whatever floats).
Now I have new years resolutions peeps, I now longer smoke. Yeah I still say hello to a tall can and enjoy a frosty pint of Melbourne's best, fuck, it was 40 Celcious today, (that's 104 farenhiet for my US mates playing at home. Again metric system, embrace it).
I had a going away party for tobacco, we drank, I thought about all the good times, the rum flavoured shag, the whiskey, bourbon, Virginia, cherry, chocolate. Romeo & Juliettes, Punch cigars. It was an emotional time. Now Tobaccy & I are still friends, she gets to keep the cancer, vascular disease and emphysema. I keep the rest of the shit I hold dear. Now we've parted, all I can say is at least I have the good times, walking down the street with a durrie hanging from my mouth. Meeting people outside a restaurant or bar and sharing that moment of solidarity only smokers share. Getting out of my orifice for a fuckarie and making up stupid reasons for doing so. Here is my top ten reasons for leaving the office to smoke:
1. I need to check on real time weather conditions.
2. I lost a pair of shoes this morning due to ill mannered possums & I think I've spotted them in a tree.
3. I heard sparrows calling me.
4. I had $1.55 in change when I got here, now I have $1.45, I'm just popping out to look for my missing 10 cents...unless someone in this office owns up... to THEFT!
5. Icecream truck outside!
6. I'm going outside to ascertain whether the air pressure is same as in the office
7. I need to check the elevators are still working
8. I have to go out and do a passing car census
9. I'm studying the coriolis effect
10. The voices in my head are telling me to light a small localised fire
Here's my 2013 shouts, if your name is mentioned it means you are special, otherwise kill yourself! (haha no I don't mean that, just give yourself a really hard punch in face and have a serious think as to why you didn't make my list).
Romany, Wolfie, Platy, Charlie, Hexy, Lecty, thanks for your friendship, fucked up fellowship etc, it's a fucking joy.
I'm back in effect this year, Selector is coming to Melbs, and the band is getting back together after a 6 year hiatus! Details at some stage.
In other news...I shaved my beard off...I am decreasing in mass.
Hopefully you've had a great Christmas break. If you're religious, good luck rationalising naked women before God. If you're a scientologist have fun auditing, remember they have cameras in those rooms, and since you're giving cash away for no good reason send some my way. Last I checked I was a level 21 fighter with a +5 sword. I challenge your Thetan level in a duel. Oh yeah that's Dungeons and Dragons, not Scientology. D&D is cheaper and fun and you don't get pigeon holed with Hollywood fucknuckles.
Here's to you & me having a fucking bang up year! Remember, as I always say society is one sick fucker, feeling at home in it is not a sign of sanity!
Here's to an evolved/de-evolved new year (whatever floats).
Now I have new years resolutions peeps, I now longer smoke. Yeah I still say hello to a tall can and enjoy a frosty pint of Melbourne's best, fuck, it was 40 Celcious today, (that's 104 farenhiet for my US mates playing at home. Again metric system, embrace it).
I had a going away party for tobacco, we drank, I thought about all the good times, the rum flavoured shag, the whiskey, bourbon, Virginia, cherry, chocolate. Romeo & Juliettes, Punch cigars. It was an emotional time. Now Tobaccy & I are still friends, she gets to keep the cancer, vascular disease and emphysema. I keep the rest of the shit I hold dear. Now we've parted, all I can say is at least I have the good times, walking down the street with a durrie hanging from my mouth. Meeting people outside a restaurant or bar and sharing that moment of solidarity only smokers share. Getting out of my orifice for a fuckarie and making up stupid reasons for doing so. Here is my top ten reasons for leaving the office to smoke:
1. I need to check on real time weather conditions.
2. I lost a pair of shoes this morning due to ill mannered possums & I think I've spotted them in a tree.
3. I heard sparrows calling me.
4. I had $1.55 in change when I got here, now I have $1.45, I'm just popping out to look for my missing 10 cents...unless someone in this office owns up... to THEFT!
5. Icecream truck outside!
6. I'm going outside to ascertain whether the air pressure is same as in the office
7. I need to check the elevators are still working
8. I have to go out and do a passing car census
9. I'm studying the coriolis effect
10. The voices in my head are telling me to light a small localised fire
Here's my 2013 shouts, if your name is mentioned it means you are special, otherwise kill yourself! (haha no I don't mean that, just give yourself a really hard punch in face and have a serious think as to why you didn't make my list).
Romany, Wolfie, Platy, Charlie, Hexy, Lecty, thanks for your friendship, fucked up fellowship etc, it's a fucking joy.
I'm back in effect this year, Selector is coming to Melbs, and the band is getting back together after a 6 year hiatus! Details at some stage.
In other news...I shaved my beard off...I am decreasing in mass.
Hopefully you've had a great Christmas break. If you're religious, good luck rationalising naked women before God. If you're a scientologist have fun auditing, remember they have cameras in those rooms, and since you're giving cash away for no good reason send some my way. Last I checked I was a level 21 fighter with a +5 sword. I challenge your Thetan level in a duel. Oh yeah that's Dungeons and Dragons, not Scientology. D&D is cheaper and fun and you don't get pigeon holed with Hollywood fucknuckles.
Here's to you & me having a fucking bang up year! Remember, as I always say society is one sick fucker, feeling at home in it is not a sign of sanity!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
platypuz:
Your Level 21 and only have a +5 sword,i reckon some dwarf ripped you of somewhere. My xmas was ok,first time i have had it of in years,i didnt have anywhere to be or anyone to see so i spent the day making home made sangria and serenading my neighbours with punk rock then proceeded to pass out happily.
wolfwood1203:
I've just been given license to plot a murder... Of course I'll have fun!! As for posting it, that depends on how satisfied I am with the finished product. Plus it won't be until May.