On and off, I've been a member of this site since 2011. That's a long time to learn a simple lesson: that this site does not reflect reality. Insofar as no promises or even suggestions were made to that effect, I am the fool. Every time I signed onto this site, I walked into a world of illusion. Yet, to permit myself a respite from apprehending the vast, deserted emptiness of my lonely life, I allowed myself to believe the opposite.
There may be two hundred thousand smiles to behold here on thousands upon thousands of sets of SG's and Hopefuls. There may be an endless parade of sexy, tattooed and pierced hotties with perfect breasts, asses, skin and other attributes. But none of them are for me. I do not even exist. I cannot hear, smell or taste the immediacy of any aspects of their personhood. Not one is known to me. Not really. It is all yearning without even a hint of fulfillment. Passion without union. Desire without satisfaction.
The images on this site serve to ignite the imaginations and hopes of millions of subscribers; they fuel the vanity of thousands of women who simply want to be assured that each one of them is uniquely beautiful, special, cherished and loved. I wish I could have met some of them and even gotten to know enough of them to tell them they are, indeed, uniquely beautiful, special, cherished and loved. I never will, And that makes me very, very sad.
I'll be gone from here in less than 30 days. But I won't be gone from this earth. That's a few years away. And in the short time I have left, I want to find out how to form loving relationships in reality. I may or may not add a comment to this post, but even if I do not, let it be known to whoever reads this that I gave a shot at shouting rage into the void, of speaking something meaningful into the chaos, of creating ex nihilo. I obviously failed.
