desidia

I can't enjoy something unless theres something else I'm supposed to be doing

The word "torrents" comes to mind.

The weather is so terrible in Olympia. Its common knowledge in the northwest, but today its so horrible thats the rest of life doesnt seem so bad. The rain chased me home where I wanted to hide under the covers and pretend it wasnt happening.

It felt like angels crying

But maybe its just the sleep deprivation. I haven't...
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Sg chat says I look like Corey Feldman....


I think I'm gonna cry

I've been chatting with Nic most of my morning and its been a lot of fun.

Faerie nic: why thank you, and you were a wonderful bubble of hugs whom i'd like to over in white chocolate and nibble

and white chocolate! that was the best part.
what a great way to start a day! not that yesterday ever ended because I didn't sleep and...
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well im slowly adjusting to life with new thigh high boots but i still kinda wish i had gone with the buckles instead of the lace-ups.
i was never one to choose function over form though.
aesthetics will always defeat practicality. the whole idea of ridiculous gothic hooker boots is not practicality.

i also tried blocking a few more people on my AIM today and...
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I've had the strangest craving to be crucified this evening. Not that I want to hang on a cross, but I was lieing in bed and my feet felt like they'd feel really good with a nail driven in them. and one of my wrists felt like a spike in it would be a good thing too. like it'd relieve some pressure.

no cravings for...
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Its time to make T-shirts for Christmas presents.
But when I say that, what I mean is its time to say thats a really good idea I just thought up and will never get around to.

Yeah, my birthday is too close to Christmas because I just spent a lot of fucking money on myself. Not that I didn't deserve it mind you.

well fuck, relationships are fucked up. I always knew this and tried to end mine finally but it didn't really work. I don't know whats going on anymore or what to do or what I'm feeling. But none of that is in neccesarilya bad way. I just need time to regroup my thoughts. Things are okay.

Unrelated but of interest; I bought 75$ of books....
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yeah, I took rose off my favourite girls for awhile, but it was a lie, I still loved her.

meh. this is me wanting to die.
but thats me everyday though.

relationships are the devil. They charm you with their silver tongues and lull you into oblivion. you gladly sell your soul, sign a contract in blood give your life away to grasp at some ideal existance.
But pure happiness is an impossibility. And my only soul, my one bargaining chip is spent. My...
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