desidia

If you try hard enough you can see through people. You can boil someone down to a single idea encompassing them entirely. Actually its easy to do this but almost all you see is redundancy, superflouisity so you choose not to.
All I see anymore is blood flowing, muscles flexing and relaxing over a series of calcium supports. Thoughts... are too fleeting, its exhausting trying...
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Lets ignore everything serious and comment on my shortlived run on Catch27. Pretty much everyone I could convince to join already has, leaving with no one to invite and start a deck...

I suppose its impossible to hide completely. or maybe you can.

I just want to have my cake and have no one know I have it

nihilism means nothing to me. ha! I crack myself up

nevermind

another mouse. got caught by the head and instead of vertabrae snapping, it just laid there struggling, suffocating, so I let it outside. it just laid there breathing heavily. I don't know if it lived, ran off to die or was carried off by a scavenger but its not where I put it now. it making a recovery and coming back inside to plague me...
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did I write a new entry? no? I must have forgotten

I've come up with a few good points about sleeping alone again but it still means I'm sleeping alone.

unless you count the zombie mouse or the fruitflies that hatched in my garbage.

actually, that wasn't so bad. it was just admitting defeat and turning in by myself that sucked.

gotta find a fulltime job this week. anything but mcdonalds or taco del mar.

.

eh. fuck the last entry. petty human relations.

whats really important is how entrancing slow moving cigarette smoke is illuminated by only my computer monitor. lulling.

A subtle reminder soothing my lungs with ashes.

We don't care whether or not we care.

In my imaginary remake, Morla the Aged one is played by Marlene Dietrech in a pristine mansion in the middle of that swamp...
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