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dementia_____

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 43 Following 11

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Sunday Feb 22, 2004

Feb 21, 2004
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Being with Akuma and Loki these few days has been very nice.
I havent broken down or anything, because I have to focus on taking care of a 2 day old baby.
When I leave tommorow, I know I will break down.
He is asleep right now and I already miss him.
Holding a baby that is 4 hours old and seeing the beauty in life is the best experience ever.
He actually makes me like babies. Not for myself, but at least in general.
He makes me forget about my stress and troubles. He makes me forget that I cant go through most of a day without worrying, or being scared, or stressing, or breaking down.
Hes let me be alone, at night, by myself and not have any panic/nervous breakdowns because i think of what Ill have to do when I go to see him the next day.
I wish I lived closer to Akuma and Jarrod. Hes my wee little 'nephew' and I miss him already.

I am so desperatly poor. It isnt even funny. I have a million things to do for school that I havent started yet....
Before I go, I am going to kiss his little cheeks and smell his pretty baby smell and remember him this way. Tiny, and beautiful. And when I want to break down Ill look at his pictures and they'll remind me of all of this and my time here.
Jarrod thanked me for coming so fast, even if I arrived late, and missed his delivery.

It hasnt made me want to have my own, as the pregnancy and delivery are what scares me. But it makes me assured that when and if I ever "get" my own child, Ill be able to care for them easily.

I feel so priviliged to ahve been a part of this weekend. I cant thank the two of them for letting me stay.
It wasnt any trouble at all.
I hope they continue to let me be there for them as well as Loki aka My Little Glowworm.
I already missed visiting with Miss Akuma and Mr. Wifey, and that alone made me so happy. But Loki, on top, was just super.
He is so beautiful.
I hope to upload a few pics of myself with him, as well as one of him...with Akuma's permission of course.
Parhaps tommorow when I go home.

Sleeps and kisses to you all.
May you one day hold a tiny, screaming, beatuiful baby in your arms and realise what beauty is.
Akuma and Jarrod are going to be wonderful parents.
I have ZERO doubts.

Current Mood: undecided
Current Music: skinhead reggae vol 1 and 2
godlessnerd:
I'm so glad to hear that you love that little baby. I know how you feel... You know how much i dislike babies... but when I see my nephew Lucas, everything is just good, and he's so cute and I love him... babies ain't for me, but other peoples babies can make you happy sometimes.
Feb 21, 2004
wolfangel:
smile Sometimes life is good...
Feb 22, 2004

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