delusion

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's no doubt got to be frustrating for precisely the fact that if you are normally prolific you feel you should be able to 'turn it on' whenever. I get a similar frustration when I design or draw and nothing seems to come out right, or even at all.


Hmmmm...I wish I had something more constructive to add than that...but I'm sure it will come just don't let it piss you off too much.

there was this one time where i stayed up for nearly 3 days making myself crazy writing a term paper. somewhere around the 36th hour, i wrote on a post-it "you could have done this a long time ago". i stuck it along the edge of my monitor and i haven't been late on a paper in over a year.

[Edited on May 04, 2004 2:15AM]

i always read ALL of your entry. You have an abundance of passion. It is intimidating at times.

i don't EVER sleep in. My stomach starts to ache if i try to make myelf sleep past 8.
*myself, but i'm liking myelf and will use it from now on.

[Edited on May 01, 2004 8:11AM]

i am lonely & i'm not alone which always serves to make things worse. i am not watching you, no worries... i was thinking alone the lines of Trae: commonly used as a pet name. Used as a shortened form of a family name in the tercerary. generally believed to be a derivitive of the spanish "tres"
i feel so fucking goofy using a little alias. i feel like the kids in junior high who forgot that they were white, middle class dorks like me and tried to be "gangstas" calling themselves things like "pony boy" and "sad girl". oh man. thats gay.



i really don't get this last entry. if you would, please break it apart and explain...i'm a bit concerned now....

also, questions answered and posted in my journal.




-pb

i wasn't a bit suprised by your sherlock holmes-ness. comes with the territory of being an observant girl-wonder.

you thought of me today whilst getting sick of your profile pic?




-pb

Yes. Yahoo IM?

-Josh

Yes, i am still on, but don't go to any trouble.

-Josh

lol yeah well I am trying to avoid work. so when I see a comment......

By the way I am notorious for accidently deleting friends so If I do..... never intentional and I will ask you to be my friend as soon as I notice, you would think I would learn that is the one place you don't want to click on someone's name but I never seem to, some people have actually been deleted twice....surprised they still speak to me.

Thanks for the nice words. I think TS is so dense that Id really have to study it to get it all. So much of the symbolism is really obscure. Id never seen poetry with footnotes before. Nevertheless, I loved wasteland and 4 quartets. And TS can be fun too like the hippopotamus and the book of practical cats. My high school did a production of cats (I was skimbleshanks ). I intended to read his plays and essays, but I only got through the cocktail party which became a favorite.

Swiss airlines really makes the twelve hour flight more bearable. They have video screens on the back of the seat in front of you and you can select from a number of movies, cartoons and documentaries. Last time I watched a couple of documentaries on Edvard Munchs life and the making of the scream. There was also one about the theft of the scream and the operations that led to its recovery. Pretty neato.

Ive enjoyed your journal writing. Ive had a zine project on the back burner for years now. My friend has probably forgotten that this is still on his website (the info is totally out of date). But Im done with school (FOREVER!) in June and can finally write and read whatever I want! Ive set aside my tax returns for printing and such, so it may actually happen this time. In any case, I hope youll send me some writing. If you ditch the scene, put me on your AIM and say hi (do so regardless).

Best, E

>strip clubs never made any sense to me. don't get me
>wrong, few things make me happier than a naked girl
>gyrating her titties in my face, but isnt it a bit like walking
>into a restaraunt hungry, looking at all the food you wish
>you could be eating and then leaving without ever taking
>a bite?

who says you can't bite?

no, really, that's why i'm not a frequent visitor to the clubs. but every now and then, it's nice to go to the orchard and look at all the different kinds of beautiful fruit. and then go home and bite into your girl's plumskinz.

If you do leave, you will be missed. You are very talented and beautiful. I understand your explination. You're a gem. You make me want to be a better person...
Whatever your decision is you are supported.

jerome from the fucking time. i'm over the moon that you appreciate that.

very good questions. you'll have to give me a few hours to come up with thoughtful and eloquent replies.

thanks for posting my angry scratches on the poetry thread. still doesn't compare.


-pb

Hiya, beautiful! How's your day going?

I went and said hello to your boy per your request.

How much you want to bet he becomes even more addicted than you are?

I hope this finds you having a great day.

Peace and much

Oh yeah, and one of these too

-Josh

destructed for ya


-pb

[Edited on Apr 18, 2004 5:41PM]

had to rewrite it. on its way.


-pb