A conversation I had with my mother earlier today.
Mother: What's that tan and brown coloured thing that looks like a waistcoat?
Me: With the camoflage pattern?
Mother: Yes, that one.
Me: That's body armour.
Mother: What's that?
Me: It's protective equipment. Stops bullets, knives, frag from explosives. That kind of stuff. Keeps your chest and back nicely free of sharp pointy metal bits.
Mother: Why the hell do you have that?
Me: Why not?
Mother: Why would you want to stop bullets and knives?
Me: The better question is, why would you not want to stop bullets and knives...
Mother: ...
Me: Besides, I'm told both camoflage patterns and waistcoats are back in fashion again, so it's doubling it's useage.
Mother: Why is it so heavy?
Me: Because it's filled with Kevlar and ceramic plates.
Mother: Well why are they so heavy?
Me: Well it's either pack the armour with dense and strong material or develop something that politely asks the bullet to stop doing Mach 1.5 toward your spleen and hope it suddenly becomes a pacificst.
Mother: This is why I don't ask you what you're doing most of the time.
Me: We should work on getting that "most of the time" down to "never". It'll be better for both of us.
My life does sometimes seem overly surreal to anyone who suddenly drifts into some new information about me.
Incidentally, the reason I could recount that conversation was that I happened to be testing high-frequency and ultrasonic sound emitters, so I had audio gear recording onto my computer. Again, surreal information to anyone who sees it from the outside.
Also, everyone should watch this. It might be nerdy to have a favouite games reviewer, but when you watch/listen to this, you'll find out why. He is geneally spot on with his opinions of a game, but his delivery is outright hilarious, and worth watching, even if you don't play games.
Mother: What's that tan and brown coloured thing that looks like a waistcoat?
Me: With the camoflage pattern?
Mother: Yes, that one.
Me: That's body armour.
Mother: What's that?
Me: It's protective equipment. Stops bullets, knives, frag from explosives. That kind of stuff. Keeps your chest and back nicely free of sharp pointy metal bits.
Mother: Why the hell do you have that?
Me: Why not?
Mother: Why would you want to stop bullets and knives?
Me: The better question is, why would you not want to stop bullets and knives...
Mother: ...
Me: Besides, I'm told both camoflage patterns and waistcoats are back in fashion again, so it's doubling it's useage.
Mother: Why is it so heavy?
Me: Because it's filled with Kevlar and ceramic plates.
Mother: Well why are they so heavy?
Me: Well it's either pack the armour with dense and strong material or develop something that politely asks the bullet to stop doing Mach 1.5 toward your spleen and hope it suddenly becomes a pacificst.
Mother: This is why I don't ask you what you're doing most of the time.
Me: We should work on getting that "most of the time" down to "never". It'll be better for both of us.
My life does sometimes seem overly surreal to anyone who suddenly drifts into some new information about me.
Incidentally, the reason I could recount that conversation was that I happened to be testing high-frequency and ultrasonic sound emitters, so I had audio gear recording onto my computer. Again, surreal information to anyone who sees it from the outside.
Also, everyone should watch this. It might be nerdy to have a favouite games reviewer, but when you watch/listen to this, you'll find out why. He is geneally spot on with his opinions of a game, but his delivery is outright hilarious, and worth watching, even if you don't play games.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
katerina:
i adore your amazing nerdiness dexface <333
kittycontagious:
I miss Fado too. You need to come back so we can go again, or maybe I should start planning a trip to visit you. Hmmm.