degraded

after sleeping a couple hours (i stayed up late catching up on the private practice season and woke with the sun which was practically up when i fell asleep), i literally rolled out of bed like i planned to start doing to avoid having to get up but allowing myself to be out of bed. then like i didn't plan i apologized to the carpet for not paying attention to it which is one of many new rituals i sense i will be running into today. i feel more on my way to the way i've always wanted to be and it feels wonderful

private practice has a lot of songs that remind me of "go sadness" by the shout out louds and i had it on loop earlier.

i googled "dreams of flying" before coming here. i did not have a dream that i can remember last night but the way i feel has got me thinking about heaven.