deflicted

so where do i do where do i go what do i do i ask questions the same questions all the time do we do i get answers

more or less what do i do

sit around and watch one tree hill and porn and jack off

dont know what to do or where to go
i dont know who to gogo
im lost
i want some one to connect with
i want some one to love me for me
and the people that we want we cant have
i dont know why
we are blind they are blind somethings
we are all blind
im actually feeling like im going blind too i need glasses
how do we deal when we cant even see whats in front of us literally
how do we say things and even know what is worth saying
and when we lose something important is it even a loss or a growth and is a growth a win
and how do we lose people do to death or fights and breakup
how do we get over how do we deal
help isnt out there
no one helps no one knoes
its just quiet and all u hear is the silence or the one tree hill rerun of whatever
and the silence is deafening
u can move but u dont want to
ur stuck cause u dont want to act u wont want to do anything
u want to be happy i want to be happpy i want to make people laugh
i want to make people feel i wantt to feel and connect and not feel cold im soo cold temperature inside and out and more its cold even when the heats all maxed out
the cold the lonelienesss gets to us gets to me
i hurt and need to now hurt
im sooo tired im tired of getting up im tired of trying tired of faking tired of lying i dont want to be fake but i guess im realizing that i am probably the most fake but i can seeing as i have triedd my hardest to be real and do things i like but ive watched where i stepped to evade every crack in the step
and u want to share but cant because you've burned so many bridgse i guess cause no ones talking to me im just so tired