feeling quite in the dumps lately. i need something or someone to kick me in the ass everyday to help get shit done. i was never a real motivated person but im tired of being miserable. i know a lot of it is in my head but its hard when, ill be honest, i see nothing everday in my life that makes me happy. my music and if i see a random cute girl(that my nervousness will never talk to lol). i left the migraines out of blogs to just to rid them of itself but i still suffer. im in process of sending medical records to a neurologists that has said he deals with what sounds like i am going through. this past year has just been horrible for me. im stuck at a job that i absolutely 100% hate, mentally and physically. and i know thats not healthy. i am appreciative i have a job at these hard times but i dont understand how other people quit in and out jobs and are more happy than me. im not sayin i want to go on unemployment, i dont mind hard work, but theres got to be a medium. how does one rid of something so negative when its youre only source of income? hard question. my whole neighborhood is either laid off or have some addiction and living on unemployment and those are ones with the smiles. i try everyday to push myself to do the things i like and want to do. i miss the old me. where did he go!? my nerves are definitely shot, my hair is showing it ;[ . i need a vacation far away, someone take me to Europe and leave me there heh.. on some other note, im starting to cleanse myself of marijuana just to be on the safe side with any job comes my way. and im really gonna try this time to get something musically done. i was talking with a friend at the show about the old days of doin Misfits/Danzig covers. i would love to get back into that element and then push original material. he loves the Misfits almost as i do. i always believed i was put here for something, my beliefs are strong thats why im not like anyone else that will do anything for money. id rather keep my idividualism than sell out, if that makes sense or not ha. i dont know, just a lot of conflict inside and out, not too many people understand me... i just ordered the other day a dual clothes rack, kinda like you would see in an department store. hopefully thatll help me get my basement together with all my clothes and ill have more room to practice. other than that just gotta keep drawing to get my vest finished. i have to return the black vest i ordered, waayyy to big. but disappointing, was hopin to start on it. well.. thats all the ranting i felt like needed to come out..
frenchtoast:
I don't understand why your complaining your profile pics with Zack Wylde i'm jealous!!!!! Big Time jealous. For the job thing i fucking hate my job to but you just gotta look for something else while your there. You have to look into jobs that your into though or else it's just gonna be the same thing over again Maybe you could ask the doc to have you off for acouple weeks so you can figure your shit out to get back on track!! anyways good luck to you xoxo