deanna

ok so for a good laugh check out my last journal...

ok so aparently im a fool. graeme is definitely interested in this rachel girl. he has mentioned her to me before too....so i have no clue if he was interested in me, just wanted sex, or whatever. i dont think ill ever know either. i cant judge by his actions because yeah he was sweet to me and we had fun and he put moves on me (which i turned down, stupid stupid) but i mean lots of guys have put moves on me, you never know what that means. he never said anything to me so i assume it meant nothing to him other then friendship,

all i know is that its too late. i used to be the girl he always had over and called and told stuff to. now i can see why he doesnt bother with me. now he knows i like him and i guess its too late for me. its such a shitty feeling when you know you missed out on something. but what can a girl do? i cant be bitter at him for it. i talked with him like usual tonight, that was a relief. i guess ill just have to play it off and stick on the sidelines and wish him well with this new chick. i dont think there is anything else i can do at this point except feel sorry for myself and wish i made a move when i had the chance. i would ask him if he liked me beyond friends but i think that might dig the hole deeper and since he is interested in rachel now its probably pointless. sigh. i swear i will write a positive journal in the next few days. i just need to get myself together.