you know when somethin sounds really like the best idea ever, at the time, but then about half way thru you get that little naggin voice sayin " oh fer fuck sake what is it now!"
i dont have a job so i got nothin but free time.....
some ppl draw, some ppl read, apparently i have to make good on drunken sleep deprived promises i am supposed to have made!
like drive down to some place near brighton to pick up a cheap ass car for a mate, and also look up the pilot episode of dukes of hazard for two random blokes that had a fight about the storyline from said episode!
add this to the fact iv had three (four as i right this) whole days of no sleep, mixed with random party mixers, so i am mainly jibbering to myself and staring blankly at things untill a fit of laughter erupts or i fart! you get the idea!
the sat nav were usin for the trip is THE worst ever! it took us from stoke, m6, thru the centre of birmingham, m40,m42, two random A roads, portsmouth three times!!!, down a rong way street, and finally 220 miles later to the guy with a car for us........ now there is two of us an two cars! .... what else could we do?
yes! cheap ass ebay car moonshine runnin!..... rob was "00" black mustang an ofcourse i was "01" General lee!
but this was no gumball rally crap speedin thru italy or spain with hot chicks an champagne!
simple rules... from the guys house we were at, till we got back onto A50 back in "hazzard county" we had to haul "moonshine" (mainly redbull, pepperami, chilli heatwave doritoes, and the remainin of my pocket full of speed ) the only way to be crowned best moonshiner was to get a cam pic of your opponents reg plate from behind, the most pics back at home wins "200 quid" which at the time was physically real in my pocket, but then i forgot i had to give it to the car guy!
anyway, so were both gettin real serious before we leave thinkin tactics an all that stuff!
"i bet if i thrash off up to there an just hang back a bit il get him"
"il dodge round coaches to avoid him"
etc etc
anyway so we set off in the two shine mobiles headin back for home, followin the fuckin sat nav, that takes us not back onto the road we came in on, oh no no no, it decides we need a tour of the coast along britains finest frickin A roads! brighton, eastbourne, crawley, chichester, plymouth? where the fuck next!!
it took us 2 hours to get to the m1 an then we both fucked up an went A1M! doh!
plus rob didnt have his phonw with him, and my phone cam is broke!
so all our ducking and diving from each other for 8 hours, in cold dark raine soaked south england was about as pointless as the fact that because we were both fucked, we never thought to turn off the sat nav an look at a map!!
but i won it tecnically anyway cuz i crossed the "twinned with erlangen" first!!
anyone wanna by a 200 quid mondeo?
no didnt think so.....
oh fuck an i forgot the best bit!!!
fuckin general lee decided to shut down at 85mph in the middle lane of the M1 next to an artic! i nearly got squashed tryin to coast it to the hard shoulder! then spend the next two hours in the dark cold wonderin why the fuck it wont start....... only to look thru the fuckin owners manual thru my second wave of boredom, to find out about some "enertia activated" safety fuel injection cut off switch on my " state of the art 5 star safety rated
moonshine ratrod!!!!!!!"
ford motor company! you are a bunch of cunts!!!!
my broken tooth is broken more too but i still cant get it out!
i dont have a job so i got nothin but free time.....
some ppl draw, some ppl read, apparently i have to make good on drunken sleep deprived promises i am supposed to have made!
like drive down to some place near brighton to pick up a cheap ass car for a mate, and also look up the pilot episode of dukes of hazard for two random blokes that had a fight about the storyline from said episode!
add this to the fact iv had three (four as i right this) whole days of no sleep, mixed with random party mixers, so i am mainly jibbering to myself and staring blankly at things untill a fit of laughter erupts or i fart! you get the idea!
the sat nav were usin for the trip is THE worst ever! it took us from stoke, m6, thru the centre of birmingham, m40,m42, two random A roads, portsmouth three times!!!, down a rong way street, and finally 220 miles later to the guy with a car for us........ now there is two of us an two cars! .... what else could we do?
yes! cheap ass ebay car moonshine runnin!..... rob was "00" black mustang an ofcourse i was "01" General lee!
but this was no gumball rally crap speedin thru italy or spain with hot chicks an champagne!
simple rules... from the guys house we were at, till we got back onto A50 back in "hazzard county" we had to haul "moonshine" (mainly redbull, pepperami, chilli heatwave doritoes, and the remainin of my pocket full of speed ) the only way to be crowned best moonshiner was to get a cam pic of your opponents reg plate from behind, the most pics back at home wins "200 quid" which at the time was physically real in my pocket, but then i forgot i had to give it to the car guy!
anyway, so were both gettin real serious before we leave thinkin tactics an all that stuff!
"i bet if i thrash off up to there an just hang back a bit il get him"
"il dodge round coaches to avoid him"
etc etc
anyway so we set off in the two shine mobiles headin back for home, followin the fuckin sat nav, that takes us not back onto the road we came in on, oh no no no, it decides we need a tour of the coast along britains finest frickin A roads! brighton, eastbourne, crawley, chichester, plymouth? where the fuck next!!
it took us 2 hours to get to the m1 an then we both fucked up an went A1M! doh!
plus rob didnt have his phonw with him, and my phone cam is broke!
so all our ducking and diving from each other for 8 hours, in cold dark raine soaked south england was about as pointless as the fact that because we were both fucked, we never thought to turn off the sat nav an look at a map!!
but i won it tecnically anyway cuz i crossed the "twinned with erlangen" first!!
anyone wanna by a 200 quid mondeo?
no didnt think so.....
oh fuck an i forgot the best bit!!!
fuckin general lee decided to shut down at 85mph in the middle lane of the M1 next to an artic! i nearly got squashed tryin to coast it to the hard shoulder! then spend the next two hours in the dark cold wonderin why the fuck it wont start....... only to look thru the fuckin owners manual thru my second wave of boredom, to find out about some "enertia activated" safety fuel injection cut off switch on my " state of the art 5 star safety rated
moonshine ratrod!!!!!!!"
ford motor company! you are a bunch of cunts!!!!
my broken tooth is broken more too but i still cant get it out!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Bad...baaaaaad!
Muah