deadsweetheart

So im going off and nto going to the Goth club for 2 weeks why you may ask well caue i dotn think anyone there eventhugh they say theyre my freinds ,,i dotn think they really care about me at all ........ive been feeling realyl neglected lately in life in general...i jsut wihs some of the peopel in my own dang state woudl call me...
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i feel liek crap today. I meen im realy haveing an identity crisis here. I meen i knwoi life gothic music and fahions especially victorian gohtic but well . None of the goth people i knwo think i am goth ,,or club goth to be specific. Is it becasue Im not a cruel cold hearted bastard ,,, or casue i dotn have an insatioable sexual...
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ok so i heard back from meber malinko and she said thsn for my concern . so that made me happy that she didnt do anything brash.

went to party last ngiht at this one girl Ashleys house. Id been thre for a party before . I dont thnk I'll be going back though ever again ... i didnt get back home till 6 am...
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today was boring as usual ...im pissed a tmy mom casue shea a fucking gossips she literalyl calls up the whoel family line and thier friggin neighbors to tell tehm the trivialities of our life ,,ive been pissed ever sinc eiw as a littl kid about that casue she told everyone i had ADD when i was little and mad eit out to everyone liek...
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well valentines day came to passs and iw as left wiht nothng excpet for about 5 minutes ago somone finally wished me happy valentines day over the internet before i did. it was my freind Wae. Someone sent her roses though today and she was asking if i did and well i didnt becasue i know she is in a relationship with a guy anmed...
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so umm no one sent me any cards or anythgn today eventhguh i sent out cards and littel keys to my heart to my close freinds who wanted tehm . i got a hug for giving a card back on friday but thats about it ,,,....... I sent out a valentine to my freind in CA and havent heard if shes gotten it yet either...
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a new poem

" moth to flame"

will you ever love
one such as I
the one who flutters about on broken wings
in the night sky

like a moth
I am drawn to your light
but forever this loneliness
will be my plight

i flew too close
liek by candles i was burned
realizing , even in my fiery death
your love i'll never...
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so superbowl sunday was supposed to go se underworld witha friend and her squeeze but the squeeze didnt show up and i tryed to go to see the movie stil and i missed hte showign so i couldnt ge tin , so i wento eart at a italian place and noticed i was the only person there ,,,it wa slike somethng out of the twilight...
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feeling a bit better now not all pukey ,, went out yesterday got an antique box camera for a freind ,,,its so hard to find any antique camera that shoots 120 mm most fo the other ones shoot all differn odd sizes casue kodak made 20 different sizes of roll filma long time ago.

oh picture of me fromt eh club , and no that...
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feeling sickly today went home from club orpheus really early last night ,,, my stomach was a bit uspet when i got there but i decided to stay awhiel for my 2 friends since it was their b-day thing .once i got home though i threw up in the toilet ,,i think my mom may have not fixed some of the food we had for...
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